Sex and the City 2 Didn’t Suck

By Karen

I’ve seen Sex and the City 2 twice already. I enjoyed it more than the first movie because Carrie spent less of it in a funk.

The critics have been more savage than usual. Entertainment Weekly was one exception. I agree with some of the criticism, but I hope loyal fans will make SATC2 earn enough to encourage SJP & Co. to try it one more time and get it right. Here are a few tips:

Dump costumer Patricia Field. She has no age sense and dresses herself like a bag lady She’s proven she can’t be trusted with a $10 million wardrobe budget.

"Is that black toenail polish, or did someone drop a piano on your feet?" (Photo - BET.com)

Samantha’s red dress with the mace epaulets — hideous. And why was she denied lip liner so her red lipstick didn’t feather in every scene? And was her brown lipstick at the wedding supposed to make her look as old as Liza Minnelli?

Carrie’s airplane hat and crinoline souk skirt — cringe-worthy. But her simple white dress, sensible shoes, and straw boater returning from Abu Dhabi — stunning.

In this clotheshorse race, Miranda won by 10 lengths, with Charlotte to place. Their outfits were mostly attractive and appropriate. More of those.

It’s time to forget tacky, hookerish, and mismatched and embrace elegance. In shoes, too. It’s painful to watch the ladies tip-toeing on platforms while their smashed breasts spill out of absurdly tight strapless dresses.

Locale: Stay in New York if you have to make them Ugly Americans anywhere else.

Samantha should beat menopause the way she beat breast cancer — with some class. It demeaned Kim Cattrall and the gorgeous Max Ryan to have him drill her on a jeep’s hood. They’d earned a bed.

Next time, give all the men more to do. It just a shame you’ve already played and wasted the Aiden card.

Michael Patrick King is obviously out of his element writing for men and ladies facing “the change,” so it’s time to call in some female writers to get the franchise back on track.

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11 Responses to Sex and the City 2 Didn’t Suck

  1. MorganLF says:

    Well said. The movie was not horrible, the clothes were. Oh the souk skirt! How did those “mace” epaulets make it through customs when the creams were confiscated?
    I was also a bit scorned for Liza she looked great but fragile, thought she was going to break a hip any minute

    “Laurence of my Labia”? New writers please, tout de suite!

  2. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I felt like I was watching a whole new season of the show in one sitting. One reason I’m glad I saw it twice is that I totally missed on first viewing Max Ryan’s boner when he stood up, it happened so fast.

    I thought Liza did a really good job camping it up. Hasn’t she had both hips replaced over the past few years? I was kind of concerned by the way she seemed to be slurring her words. She reminded me of her mother when she used to show up drunk on talk shows near the end.

    On the souk skirt, I wondered how Carrie possibly stuffed it into a suitcase and had it come out totally fluffy and unwrinkled. And I was bothered by the way they had Carrie and Charlotte prancing around in the desert sun with bare shoulders.

  3. Zappa says:

    Thank you,Karen!!
    While I am looking forward to seeing the movie this week,I have always been puzzled by the praise heaped upon Patricia Field.Samantha was ghastly in the first movie,dressed in screaming primary colored 80’s remixes(shoulder pads?)I thought it was just me and my lack of fashion”sense”

    Zappa’s mom

  4. catsworking says:

    ZM, as far as I’m concerned, Patricia Field’s taste has always been an abomination, but SJP was so cute (I mean body-wise — she’s never been what I’d call a beauty) on the show, she could pull off whatever they threw on her.

    Now that she’s showing her age, not so much.

    What Field did with $10 million was downright criminal with so many of the outfits. You’ll see for yourself what I’m talking about. I really thought Miranda came off with class. She looked truly beautiful. Cynthia Nixon doesn’t seem to realize how stunning she is as a redhead because she always reverts to blonde between the movies, but it’s so nondescript on her.

    I’m kind of surprised that Kim Cattrall didn’t raise a stink about them turning her into a cartoon. Charlotte sort of suffered the same fate, but at least she didn’t have to do as much screaming and physical schtick.

    Our girls have reached the point where they could really inspire a fashion renaissance for middle-aged women that would result in some decent-looking clothes for us on the rack — but first they have to do away with Patricia Field.

    If anybody came out a winner in this film all around, I’d have to say it was Big.

  5. MorganLF says:

    Forgot to mention that, Big looked FINE!!

  6. catsworking says:

    Yes, Big did look great. He said he lost weight for the movie, and I think they took away a bit of his gray.

    Watched SJP in her previous move, Have You Heard About the Morgans?, last night. She starred with Hugh Grant, and I love him, but not even he could save that stinker. Elizabeth Moss (Peggy from Mad Men) had a small part as SJP’s assistant. SJ and Hugh had no chemistry AT ALL, although she claims to adore him in real life.

    I don’t think she’s made a good movie since she started SATC. She seems to try so hard not to play Carrie in every part that she comes off as very wooden.

    Big article in today’s paper about the fashion of SATC2 and how women’s sense of style should evolve as they age and become more elegant (she must have read my post! 😉 ). The souk skirt and logo T were mentioned as fashion don’ts at ANY age, and the writer thought Miranda and Carrie were the only ones who came off looking sexy and sophisticated.

  7. Adele says:

    Big did look fabulous, better than is SATC1. Of course, I don’t think Patricia Fields got her weird and grubby paws on the men in the cast.

    When I saw SJP in her souk outfit, I was reminded of Bourdain’s comments about tacky Americans in logo tee shirts. It is time to show the ladies aging gracefully, in some truly flattering outfits, with the humanity and humor that they had in the TV series. If there is an SATC3, Michael Patrick King simply must bring back some of the very talented female writers from the series, who knew the characters so well.

    As to misogyny, I watched The Hangover the other night. I must admit, I laughed a few more times than I did in SATC2, but that was because I wasn’t expecting much. The Hangover was, I believe, fairly well-reviewed; it even won a Golden Globe in the comedy category. But it was as preposterous a premise as SATC2; the characters were basically jerks,and the only thing that was missing was the ugly American in a foreign country (unless you count a Vegas hotel suite, with a chicken walking around a foreign country)aspect. But I don’t believe there was one single review that matched the vitriol SATC2 has incurred — of course The Hangover is a MALE buddy movie. And I hear Get Him To The Greek is not being roundly panned, either.

  8. catsworking says:

    OMG, Adele, Get Him to the Greek got 3 1/2 stars (out of 4) in the review here. “A comedy classic.”

    I think you’ve nailed it. Male bonding movies, no matter how stupid and gross, don’t get the vicious ass-ripping that movies starring women do because that’s exactly how everyone expects men to act. It’s the same old double standard. Woman asserts herself in the office, she’s a bitch. Man behaves like an aggressive jerk, he’s dynamic.

    I just read that SATC2’s box office dropped 65% this weekend, but suspect it will make up the difference in foreign sales. In European countries that are sick of Middle Eastern immigrants, the girls may be a big hit. And just a few days ago in London, SJP was still saying she hopes they do a third movie. So either somebody’s hiding all the newspapers from her, or she knows something we don’t know.

    Michael Patrick King is definitely toast. If they stage a big gay divorce in the next one, fine, have him write it. But women need to take over the rest of the writing. He’s shown how ill-equipped he is to deal with menopausal issues. In fact, I read one piece where breast cancer experts are up in arms over the movie because the LAST thing Samantha should be taking is estrogen. She’d never have been prescribed it.

  9. Adele says:

    I think we can thank Suzanne Summers for the fact that Samantha was using estrogen; Summers, a breast cancer survivor, herself, claims that bioidentical hormones don’t have the same side effects as standard pharmaceuticals. As I recall, Summers also opted for an alternative treatment for her cancer, following her lumpectomy. I don’t know much about the science, if there is any, behind all of Summers’ theories; she claims to feel like and have the libido of a 30-year-old. There are people, including Oprah and Rosie O’Donnell, who give a lot of props to Suzanne and claim that they feel great, using a version of her regimen.

    My gut says Suzanne has been lucky; there are more and less aggressive kinds of breast cancer, and it sounds like hers was less aggressive and easily treated.

  10. MorganLF says:

    Libido schmibido! It has nothing to do with hormones. If it’s hot,willing, and new ANYONE can have a ravenous libido.

    Just don’t tell me that after years of looking at the same mug rubbing estrogen into your arms is going to make it hot again!

  11. catsworking says:

    The last time I saw Suzanne Somers, she was looking pretty scary with the scraggly long blonde hair and inside-out lip job, like she’s 63 going on 20. Her Web site is playing up the SATC2 connection. Check it out: http://www.suzannesomers.com/.

    Morgan, I’m with you. There’s a lot to be said for variety to get things back in gear. If the attraction is there, hormones have nothing to do with it.

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