Your Vet Thinks You’re an Idiot When…

By Cole

…your cat or dog has a stupid or nasty name, according to USA Today columnist Patty Khuly, a Miami vet with so much time on her hands she writes about such things.

PawNation gathered opinions from other vets and they agree with Khuly. Vets do judge owners based on their patients’ names.

They say it’s a sin to recycle names like a Tudor because of the reincarnation angle. Creepily enough, Karen confessed she briefly considered calling me Henry because I’m her 8th cat.

Khuly gets concerned by “good” people names like Stephen or Susan because they indicate the pet may be considered more than an animal. So what’s her point? But she’s OK with “bad” people names like Bruno and Oscar that would earn a human kid a daily beating on the playground.

Cats Working cats have always been named for famous people, beginning with Karen’s late tuxedo cat, Coco Chanel.

Yul, Adele, and I all started out with names assigned by the Richmond Animal League.

Yul was originally Sydney, but Karen prophetically renamed him Yul Brynner. When he was 6 years old, he lost his tail, sort of like Brynner losing his hair.

Adele was Ping Pong Ball because RAL said they’d run out of names for white cats. She became Adele Astaire because she was an exact miniature of the resident alpha cat, the late Fred Astaire.

RAL called me Dash after finding me “dashing” for my life across a highway, but Karen saw a different kind of dashing — Cole Porter — in me, and I wholeheartedly agree.

So, if your cat’s name is some thing (Boots, Snowflake, Smokey), a bad word, or an infamous person like Hitler, Saddam, or Castro, realize that your vet pities the cat and thinks there’s something wrong with you.

11 Responses to Your Vet Thinks You’re an Idiot When…

  1. Zappa says:

    How do vets feel about kitties named after maniacal rock icons? I go to the vet this Thursday.Will my mom be disapproved of?


  2. catsworking says:

    Zappa, it probably depends on how you act. Bounce off the walls and scream a lot and your human will get lots of understanding looks and sympathy while she shrugs her shoulders and says, “What did you expect from a cat named Zappa?”

  3. Zappa says:

    I am guaranteed to misbehave at the vet’s! I haven’t officially been told that I am going yet,I will figure it out when I get thrown in the car.I will fill you in on all the details soon


  4. catsworking says:

    Zappa, I know you will stand up for yourself and do kitties proud. We’re all actually pretty good at the vet’s, although Karen makes me and Yul wear a harness and leash because if we decide we want to take off, nobody is stopping us or they get shredded.

  5. Tuxi says:

    Mom named me Tuxi because she had 3 tuxedo cats who had the cookie names:Oreo, Hydrox and Double Stuf. I like the way she spelled my name. I looked my name up for fun in Wikipedia and there was a Chinese general in the 5th Century named Tuxi Bi. Yep, that’s his name. The Bi has nothing to do with me! But I can be like a little warrior when I want to be. Like at the vet’s office!

  6. catsworking says:

    Tuxi, being named after an ancient Chinese general is very cool!

    Yul tells me that the three bona fide tuxedos who lived here here were Coco Chanel (black and white like the Chanel perfume box), Ginger Rogers, and Rex Harrison. I know, I know. The names had nothing to do with their coloring. Karen must have had her reasons at the time. She took a lot of heat over Rex because when he was a tiny kitten, he looked nothing like the Sexy Rexy he grew up to be.

    The people at the vet tried to call me a tuxedo because of my white back toes and a little patch of it on my tummy, and a few stray hairs on my chest, but Karen wasn’t buying it. Like Yul (who has a white triangle on his chest and white in his arm- and legpits, I consider myself black, so Cole is what you call a misspelled double entendre.

  7. Joanaroo says:

    I had to laugh at Tuxi on Friday morning. We have a bathroom off of the family room downstairs and there are litter boxes in it. Tuxi did her morning #2 in there and a little later one of the other kids did. Magic was sitting on the couch next to me and I said, ‘I’ll go scoop soon and take that out. Woo! Tuxi made a stink in there earlier.’. She was over perpendicular to me about 8 feet from me and gave me the perfect dirty look. It was priceless. I said to her ‘Sorry, but you did!’, and she gave me another look. I got to laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

  8. Tuxi says:

    Yeah. Thanx Mom! Next time you have Taco Bell, I’ll laugh about those noises you make. And when time for your next pre-colonoscopy clean-out comes around!

  9. catsworking says:

    Tuxi!! You “hit the nail on the head” with that crack!! Karen is having a colonoscopy tomorrow. She skipped breakfast this morning and I caught her smacking her lips at our can of Fancy Feast as she was dishing it out. I’m not really sure what’s going on, since I wasn’t here for her last one, but there’s a box of Dulcolax and bottles of Miralax and Gatorade on the counter that Karen cusses at every time she looks at them. Yul and Adele tell me we’re having “fireworks” later this afternoon and to stay out of the hall leading to the bathroom.

  10. Joanaroo says:

    Good luck on the colonoscopy, Karen! I know how it goes with the prep, but one good thing is the Miralax/Gatorade doesn’t leave that horrible taste in the mouth as the faux banana stuff you have to drink for an abdominal CAT-Scan with contrast. Blah!

  11. catsworking says:

    Joanaroo, it’s all over finally and life can get back to normal. Lemon-Lime Gatorade is like drinking antifreeze. I could only choke down about 2/3 of it, yakked some of it back up, but still managed to get enough Miralax to “do the job.” I felt so awful, I shudder to think how I’d have ended up drinking the whole jug. There’s just something fundamentally wrong about having someone ingest 2 weeks’ worth of laxative in 2 hours — and then chase them with Dulcolax pills.

    But the doctor said my colon is “clean as a whistle,” so I must be doing something right!

    And now they tell you to go right out and eat something, rather than easing gently back into the food chain. I went straight to Bob Evans for fried eggs, hash browns, sausage, and biscuits. Delish!

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