My OctoMom Career Idea Backfired

By Adele

PETA has pounced on an idea I presented back in February 2009, shortly after Nadya Suleman gave birth to octuplets and earned worldwide scorn when everyone learned she already had 6 kids at home, no job, and no husband.

But I never said anybody should exploit cats.

When Nadya’s litter was ready to come home, she moved her whole mob into a $450,000 house her father was supposed to pay for. But the expense of maintaining Nadya’s birthing fetish has forced her family to default on several homes before, and this one is no different. She and her brood are once again facing eviction.

Never one to hold down some regular 9-5 schmuck job like a normal person, Nadya’s been leaving no stone unturned looking for quick, highly lucrative gigs suitable for a woman with no skills or talent. But she reportedly turned down an offer to appear in a porn flick that would have paid off the house.

I guess simulating sex with nothing to look forward to 9 months later just didn’t appeal to her.

So when PETA came knocking and offered her $5,000 and a month’s supply of vegan burgers and hotdogs to put this sign in her front yard for a month, she seized it:

(Photo - PETA)

Words can’t express how much I resent the implication that felines are crazy, irresponsible breeding machines. No cat in the history of the world has ever asked a vet for in vitro.

On behalf of momcats everywhere, I demand that PETA immediately replace that sign with puppies.

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5 Responses to My OctoMom Career Idea Backfired

  1. Zappa says:

    Why didn’t PETA give that $5000 to vets who actually do the procedures for pet adoption agencies? Oh,right,that wouldn’t generate any controversy/publicity for them

    Zappa’s mom

  2. catsworking says:

    Zappa’s mom, I don’t think one animal will get spayed or neutered as a result of that sign in Nadya’s front yard. The money would have been much better spent going to the people who actually do the work. It’s just like the healthcare bill. All the big bucks are going to insurance companies, who have NOTHING to do with providing healthcare to anybody.

    But Nadya does seem to have a gift for drawing benefactors out of the woodwork when she needs them most.

  3. Tuxi says:

    This Octoloon needed to have a hysterectomy like my mom had (but Mom’s was for health reasons) long before she was able to have 14 kids! She isn’t even mentally stable to have kids, and she even worked in a mental hospital! She should be in the hospital herself! And then having that sign! GRRRR! Instead of cats OR dogs on it, it should’ve had HER on it with her 8 kid pregnant belly and said: I HAD A CHOICE! CATS AND DOGS DON’T! SPAY AND NEUTER! INCLUDING OCTOMOM!

  4. catsworking says:

    Tuxi, I LOVE your concept and caption for the new sign! You should work in advertising!

    You’re so right. OctoMom wasn’t exactly accosted in a dark ally by a lecherous tom, like so many innocent kitties are who find themselves “in the family way.”

    Nadya recently told some reporter that if she ever meets a man she likes, she would consider having ANOTHER kid so they’d have one together. After all this, she STILL hasn’t learned. I’m with you. I say, somebody PLEASE get her snipped now before she breeds again.

  5. Tuxi says:

    EXACTLY! I agree because I read that she said that too and when Mom read it she looked at me and said, Tuxi, this would be like you having at least 2 litters and us saying, oh let’s see what colors we get out of a third litter. She meant having 2 unwanted litters is crazy and adding to that unconscionable. Plus I’d tell her to fooey herself, but I’m already spayed so I know who she meant.

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