PETA has pounced on an idea I presented back in February 2009, shortly after Nadya Suleman gave birth to octuplets and earned worldwide scorn when everyone learned she already had 6 kids at home, no job, and no husband.
But I never said anybody should exploit cats.
When Nadya’s litter was ready to come home, she moved her whole mob into a $450,000 house her father was supposed to pay for. But the expense of maintaining Nadya’s birthing fetish has forced her family to default on several homes before, and this one is no different. She and her brood are once again facing eviction.
Never one to hold down some regular 9-5 schmuck job like a normal person, Nadya’s been leaving no stone unturned looking for quick, highly lucrative gigs suitable for a woman with no skills or talent. But she reportedly turned down an offer to appear in a porn flick that would have paid off the house.
I guess simulating sex with nothing to look forward to 9 months later just didn’t appeal to her.
So when PETA came knocking and offered her $5,000 and a month’s supply of vegan burgers and hotdogs to put this sign in her front yard for a month, she seized it:
Words can’t express how much I resent the implication that felines are crazy, irresponsible breeding machines. No cat in the history of the world has ever asked a vet for in vitro.
On behalf of momcats everywhere, I demand that PETA immediately replace that sign with puppies.