Black Cats Disappointed in Tiger Woods

By Cole

To cats, golf is like stalking a dead mouse, but Cats Working has been getting significant hits on the word tiger lately, so we feel compelled to offer a feline perspective on the Tiger Woods incident.

I was surprised when Tiger obliquely, by his own admission, admitted that he’s a philanderer. That’s assuming his public statement about “transgressions” he regrets with “all his heart” wasn’t referring to forgetting to take out the trash. And I’m betting it wasn’t because he left his socks on the floor that he jumped into his SUV to flee his home in terror at 2 a.m., hitting a fire hydrant and a tree.

Golf is so boring, it’s understandable that marrying a gorgeous young Swedish model can hardly compensate. Tiger pounced on the “variety is the spice of life” cliché to take his mind off the sheer futility of his days on the links.

But now Tiger has unwittingly unleashed a steady trickle of nocturnal bimbo types, dragging themselves out of bed before noon to grab 15 minutes of fame by claiming they slept with him — or didn’t.

Why must you punish us ALL, Tiger? WHY? Wasn’t there anyone classier you could cat around with?

Tiger has asked for privacy to sort things out. I agree he should have it. I’m sick of the sight of him everywhere. It’s not like his inability to keep his pants zipped affects anybody but the people involved. And it’s not as if golf is on most people’s list of what matters.

For all we know, under her stunning exterior Mrs. Woods may be dumb as a golf tee. But now that Tiger knows she, too, can swing a mean club, maybe he’ll have more respect for her.


19 Responses to Black Cats Disappointed in Tiger Woods

  1. Adele says:

    Well, Cole,it looks like you now officially are on Cats Working’s golf beat as well as soccer. Let’s see, Adele has horse racing; Yul, I suspect would have basketball, and I’m not sure who has baseball and football. Cats Working really is a full service blog.

    In this information age, it’s hard to imagine that any famous human would think he/she could get away with anything. At least Tiger didn’t say he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

  2. catsworking says:

    Hi, Adele. Lately, Fred’s posts on the late Tatiana the tiger have been outpulling everything, even Bourdain’s wives, so Karen figured people must be searching on Tiger Woods and thought we should respond. Nobody else wanted to touch golf, so guess who got it? Cole, the new guy!

    Tiger was pretty stupid thinking he could get away with cheating. Maybe he believed that because his girlfriend thought golf was boring, she’d forget he was famous and never mention him to anybody.

  3. Bob says:

    First of all as a Man let me say that Men everywhere around the world are shaking their collective heads in bewilderment.

    Tongues are even wagging here in Winnipeg, now if you screwed up big enough for people to be talking about you up here before Christmas, your screw up was EPIC.

    It’s bad enough that most men would willingly give up a digit to be lucky enough to “WOO” a lady of that caliber. But Tiger or as he is called here now Cheetah, had her and treated her like garbage to boot. Now that’s just getting greedy.

    I hope that they can do something to salvage what is left of any trust in the relationship. But in the process Tiger had better be prepared to open up those deep pockets cause this is going to cost him big time.

  4. catsworking says:

    Bob, I think you said the operative words: “this is going to cost him big-time.”

    If his wife thinks the 3 other women have any credibility, I’d say Tiger will soon be on the loose as a divorced guy paying big alimony and child support. Given that most women think golf is about as interesting as watching paint dry, it’s not exactly the recipe for becoming a babe magnet.

    And one of the women is being advised by that scumbag celebrity ambulance-chaser Gloria Allred, who scheduled a press conference and then canceled it this week, which means she may be angling to get the woman a big payoff to keep her trap shut.

    I liked the comment by another pro golfer who introduced Elin to Tiger when she was working as his au pair. He feels responsible. He said he hopes next time she uses a wedge instead of a 3 iron.

  5. Zappa says:

    Here’s the way I see it
    The lawyers make it worth her while to stay(they’re gonna have to throw a lot of extra kibble her way)she will have another kitten or two,then when Tiger has lost his growl she will be gone.

  6. catsworking says:

    You have a point, Zappa. The Woodses have only been married 5 years. Maybe Mrs. Woods will stick around until she can really sink her claws into Tiger’s assets and take half of everything.

  7. Zappa says:

    and kick litter over the remaining half!!


  8. MorganLF says:

    That goofy looking nerd has a real problem. What’s the count up to today, 13?

    It’s the typical sports hero syndrome, I mean its not like he’s a sexy looking dude.

    The men I talk to in Northern Jersey and NYC are for the most part shocked that he got CAUGHT and not in the least bit bewildered or even that upset by the news.

    The dope just blew up millions of endorsement dollars, now that’s bewildering, and he just had a baby!

    I heard it reported if she stays ten years the pre-nup kicks in and the haul is $55 million! I bet she stays…any takers?

  9. catsworking says:

    They were reporting Tiger’s wife Elin had left the house. But then her mother was taken to the hospital from Tiger’s place. Why would she be staying there if her daughter wasn’t?

    It surprised us to learn Tiger Woods is such a hound with cheap taste in women. I hope they stop saying he’s a sex addict because that lets him off too easy, like it’s something he can’t help.

  10. MorganLF says:

    He’s not a sex addict; that’s a bogus made-up ailment for arrogant douche bags who think they can just get away with bad behavior.

  11. Bob says:

    MORGAN!!!! Thought you had dropped off the planet!

    Tiger is no sex addict, hes just your typical male with a commitment problem. When’s the last time Johnny Six Pack got put on CNN for screwing around..MMM NEVER.

    Why.. Cause he’s not good for ratings.
    This whole Tiger thing is just stupid, ohhh a man had an affair. Call the FBI, check for the Boogie Man under the bed. Put the Country on Red Alert.

    Its a ratings grab plain and simple, the only reason we are listing to it is cause hes famous and its like someone we “know”

    Tiger had bad judgment, end of story.
    Now let the courts decide the rest of it.

  12. catsworking says:

    Bob, the last I heard on the news, they were saying as many as 9 women may be involved now. So it’s not just an affair. It’s a guy grabbing every woman he could while his beautiful wife was home having his babies.

    Americans go nuts over stuff like this. Tiger will still probably play golf because he is the best, but his reputation will never recover. One affair with someone he really seemed to care about, OK. Understandable. But constant, chronic cheating just for thrills, he’s made himself forever a joke and his reputation is toast.

  13. Adele says:

    Glad you checked in, Morgan. There’s a sports writer named, Charlie Pierce, who wrote an article back in ’97, when Tiger was maybe 21, saying what a hound he was. The rest of the sporting press, not to say Tiger’s peeps, went crazy over the article. Since then, until now, there’s been a kind of gentlemen’s agreement among the sports writers. BTW, I just heard the body count is up to 14, and of the pictures I’ve seen, it’s a predominately trashy looking lot.

  14. Bob says:

    Adele, that does not surprise me in the least.

    Have you been keeping up with the NYC stuff on “That Other Blog???”

    Hope so cause my fingers are getting tired from all of the typing…

  15. catsworking says:

    Bob, you have just begun to type.

    This morning I saw one of Tiger’s girls on The Today Show and she seemed pretty nice (strangely resembling his wife), although misguided in thinking that Tiger actually cared about her. After hearing her story, I felt sorry for her. She succumbed to the thrill of having this famous guy interested in her and threw good judgment to the wind. She said she had no idea at the time that he was sleeping with everybody.

  16. Freeborn says:

    The Tiger Woods scandal (if you could call it that) has brought on the debate yet again regarding white women and black men.

  17. catsworking says:

    Welcome, Freeborn! Since the number of mistresses is now up around 15, I think Tiger’s behavior as a married man with children qualifies as a scandal, and I have seen some mention that Tiger’s taste seems to run exclusively to white women. I have no opinion on that since we’ve got both black and white cats at Cats Working and we’re happy.

    I deleted the link you included because it looks to me like a dating site advert masquerading as a blog, and we’re not in the match-making business, interracial or otherwise. Thanks for stopping by!

  18. MorganLF says:

    Does anyone remember Fuzzy Zoeller? The cat got crucified for a mildly racist statement ..ok a racist statement about serving fried chicken or something to that effect, after Monsieur Tiger won a major tournament.

    Fuzzy was well liked and by all accounts great guy, that incident killed his endorsements i.e career. Tiger never diffused that, even after apologies were proffered.

    Know what? I can endure a fried chicken reference from a guy who is joking as opposed to “Saint” Tiger who purports an image that is the polar opposite of a creepy trim hound, who eschews his own, and feels somehow entitled to hit any skank ass, while maintaining an image that is a sham and fraud.

    He won’t speak publicly, which is another indication of the self-important ahole he is.

    Who does he think pays for his lifestyle?

    Endorsements that’s who- and he does not have mine. I don’t care what anyone does in private but for chrissakes, that goofy creep has 2 babies at home and crafted an image of puritan perfection.

    It’s funny the baddest boy, ex-junki, who we all admire is particularly a favorite because when he decided to have a family he owns it…like a man.

  19. catsworking says:

    Morgan, we do vaguely remember Fuzzy and the fried chicken incident.

    I’ve been reading that black people don’t feel too sorry for Tiger because he seemed to repudiate them some time back and, of course, he seems to have no use for black women. What is it with that? OJ Simpson was the same way.

    That he’s in hiding now, while his wife is out and about doing her thing without her wedding ring, just shows what a gutless wonder he really is. She will be well rid of him if she divorces him, and she deserves to get a huge chunk of his assets.

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