Kid Keeps Getting Sarah Palin’s Goat

By Adele

Still think Sarah Palin looks presidential, bickering endlessly with her teenage daughter’s baby-daddy, Levi Johnston? Me, either.

Palin’s relentless idiocy is finally paying off. CNN’s latest poll revealed only 29% now think she’s qualified to be president.

Levi’s revelations have the unmistakable ring of truth. But you can’t really blame Palin. Levi knew her as a rural housewife working in the relatively rinky-dink Alaskan political machine who killed large animals for fun. When she called Trig her “retarded baby,” she had no idea John McCain would become her fairy godfather, clean her up, and send her to the ball.

It was Palin who took her sweet time seeking help after her water broke with Trig, flying from Texas to Alaska. Calling him retarded after she tried to kill him seems mild.

And let’s back up on her complaints about Levi’s current notoriety. Palin’s whining that he’s just “selling his body for attention,” apparently referring to his upcoming Playgirl spread.

Sarah, who put him out there in the first place? Would anybody know Levi if you hadn’t trotted out him and pregnant Bristol during your failed VP campaign? You built this Frankenstein yourself, girl.

Levi has proudly proclaimed himself a “f**king redneck.” He had few prospects in Alaska, so he’s unapologetically seizing opportunities that come along now — exactly as Palin is doing.

Levi says he’s withholding truly damaging information on Palin, but I’m guessing if she keeps sniping, or tries to trash him in her upcoming book, Going Rogue, he’ll unload on her with both barrels. Her presidential dreams will be as dead as that bear pelt on her sofa.

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4 Responses to Kid Keeps Getting Sarah Palin’s Goat

  1. Adele says:

    Adele, think of what a cesspool Wasilla, Alaska must be. I don’t know if Karen ever told you about a TV show called Northern Exposure, but that’s how I like to think of small town Alaska — a place filled with quirky, smart, decent people. The Palins would never be allowed in a town like Cicely. You’re so right about Palin having created the monster, who is Levi Johnston. I feel sorry for all her kids, but Bristol in particular.

  2. catsworking says:

    Karen bought her sister Season 1 and 2 of Northern Exposure for her birthday, although Karen never watched it herself. But now she might be interested since one of the stars was Aiden from Sex & the City (John Corbett). We have no doubt the show made Alaska look a lot more noble than Palin has done. Thanks to her, Alaskans now all seem to be semi-literate, redneck fortune-hunters.

  3. Zappa says:

    Hi Adele!
    The thing that worries my mom is that Sarah Palin will become one of those right wing meowing heads on TV that she hates so much.If that many Humans will buy her book,think of how many will listen to her hiss and spit for free.

    Zappa

  4. catsworking says:

    Zappa, I suspect one of the reasons Palin hasn’t already become a meowing head is that people who are hiring her are waiting to see what’s in her book and how stupid it is. The book may get her a TV gig because people forget she had a co-writer who formed sentences. Whenever Palin has had to express herself on her own, she’s been rambly and incoherent. Remember the debate with Biden? Remember the resignation speech in Alaska? Remember how Tina Fey was most hilarious when she repeated Palin’s comments verbatim?

    Palin’s deathly afraid of the media asking questions, so if she got a talk show where she had to ad lib with intelligent people on current events, they’d shred her regularly. She has a poor grasp of most facts, and she doesn’t like to read.

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