Michelle Obama and Her Magical Belt

By Adele

This had to be an historical first: our First Lady doing the hula on the South Lawn. Michelle Obama kept her hoop going for an impressive 142 rotations during the Healthy Kids Fair, but I couldn’t stop staring at — THE BELT.


This is not the same belt she wore overseas. That forgettable little accessory had only 2 measly rows of studs. She has upped the ante to 3 rows to ensure that nobody fails to notice — THE BELT.



I think the whole kids fair was just a front to stage a photo op for — THE BELT.


Wide black leather worn backward so the buckle digs into her spine whenever she sits, cinched tightly over a cardigan and an untucked blouse to accentuate her caboose and make her look really bottom-heavy.

The latest belt is so wide, if she adds one more row of studs, she’ll be wearing a leather corset.

I imagine all Michelle has to do is put her hand behind her back (as if reaching to unbuckle said belt) to strike fear in the hearts of everyone in the White House, including the president. The kids begin to whimper and Bo the dog runs yelping under the bed. They all know that one wallop from THE BELT will take them down for the count.

THE BELT turns the most feminine outfit into a power suit. Michelle just has to slip into black stiletto heels to instantly become “Dominatrix of the World.”

It’s a shame President Obama didn’t make THE BELT the mainstay of his wardrobe. If he instead of Michelle had been wearing leather and studs every day since the inauguration, Congress wouldn’t have dared to let healthcare reform go totally off the rails.


6 Responses to Michelle Obama and Her Magical Belt

  1. Adele says:

    Okay, Adele, I admit I really don’t like THE BELT with cardigans, although I don’t think it looks bad on the yellow dress, but I’m afraid you have the evil Patricia Field and Sex And The City, The Movie to thank for THE BELT. Carrie wears a similar one in several of the scenes, and I think Miranda wears one once or twice.

  2. catsworking says:

    Adele, you may be on to something. I have watched that movie with Karen a couple of times, and I know what you’re talking about, but those belts didn’t bug me like THE BELT. I guess I’m just used to seeing the girls in outlandish get-ups.

    And I’m probably spoiled because I’m covered with perfect, dainty white fur and never have to give it a second’s thought. But if Karen ever tried to buckle some thick leather studded collar around my neck, I’d shred her. Like THE BELT, it just wouldn’t go with the outfit, ya know?

    Michelle puts on these lovely, feminine clothes (yellow dress, for example), and then RUINS them with that hideous, mannish accessory that makes her look like she’s ready to go off and fight for the Resistance. And it’s got to be uncomfortable, to boot. Unless she’s got it fastened so tight her eyes bug out, her sweaters and blouses must pull up every time she moves her arms so she’s got to constantly tug them down.

  3. MorganLF says:

    That belt is someone’s idea of a statement. Michelle has been sadly misled and will for ever go down in history as laughably unchic. IT is worse than Barbara Bush’s pearls. Why would she draw attention to a flat chest and wide bottom?

  4. catsworking says:

    Believe it or not, as much as I pick on THE BELT, I like most of Michelle Obama’s clothes. What she was wearing at the kids’ health fair was perfectly fine, and the last thing that outfit needed was THE BELT.

    When she wants to look like a First Lady and goes for something simple and elegant, she usually looks stunning. But when she starts throwing on the cardigans over evening clothes, or pulling out the sequins and rhinestones in the morning, she’s asking for trouble.

  5. MorganLF says:

    Can’t say I like any of her clothes. Her stylist is not good. Jackie O she ain’t.

  6. catsworking says:

    Morgan, I don’t know if Michelle is still relying on that boutique owner from Chicago who was pitting all the unknown designers against each other to design for Michelle. But whenever she straps on THE BELT, it’s usually over some ordinary outfit it looks like she bought and pulled together herself.

    I DO give Michelle 2 paws up for her Halloween costume, which was tasteful and elegant. She dressed as a CAT!

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