Owner Disses Cat’s High School Diploma

By Yul

Oreo, a 2-year-old cat in Macon, Georgia, completed her studies at Jefferson High School Online with the financial support and encouragement of her owner, and now he’s dissing her diploma.

Oreo likes to stay on top of current events, too. (Photo - Kelvin Collins)

Oreo likes to stay on top of current events, too. (Photo - Kelvin Collins)

Her owner is Kelvin Collins, the prez and CEO of the Central Georgia Better Business Bureau. Apparently, Collins helped Oreo complete her studies only as a stunt to prove that such diplomas are worthless.

He’s basically saying a school has to be a special kind of stupid to graduate a cat.

The nerve.

I’m sure Oreo, who was rescued from a ditch as a kitten, is justifiably proud of her achievement. How many human 2-year-olds can compose essays about their life experiences?

If you want to talk about stupid businesses, our late brother Rex had his own credit card. Credit was so loosey-goosey, First Card offered Karen another card in anybody’s name without any other information. So she got a card for Rex.

Soon, the mailbox was crammed with offers from American Express and many others, clamoring to give Rex more credit. He even started getting calls from telemarketers.

First Card raised his credit limit several times, even though he never charged anything. It was only when Karen ran into some problem with the account and got jerked around and, in a fit of pique, informed the company that one of their cardholders was a cat, that they cut Rex off.

But Oreo did the coursework in good faith and I think her owner should show her a little more respect. Giving her a new automatic litterbox as a graduation present was a good start.

She also got 15 minutes of fame with MSNBC, and CatsWorking just extended it to 16.

Congratulations, Oreo!

6 Responses to Owner Disses Cat’s High School Diploma

  1. Bob says:

    I think its very cool that one of your feline compatriots has gotten a diploma…

    Actually now that I think of it some of the smartest people I know are cats!!!

  2. catsworking says:

    If we could scrape together $200 (Karen refuses to pay our tuition — we’ve already asked), Adele, Cole, and I would enroll and go for a joint diploma, just to have something pretty to hang above the litterboxes.

  3. Adele says:

    Alice is very impressed by Oreo’s accomplishment. She wonders whether the fact that you, Adele and Cole blog would qualify you for some kind of a scholarship.

  4. catsworking says:

    Adele, I wouldn’t be surprised if they threw us some free English credits for our blog. We’re still trying to scrape together the tuition. Since Karen gives us our allowance in cat treats, it’s not easy.

  5. Joanaroo says:

    Hi Yul! This story tugs at my heart because we have a tuxedo cat named Oreo. We rescued she, her mom Peeper and 4 other kittens from under our neighbor’s shed. We kept Peeper and Oreo and our vets have an adoption service so the other kids went to good homes. We have 3 other tuxedos: Double Stuf, Hydrox and Tuxi. Oreo’s owner should be proud of her education! Cats are very smart as they all like to tell us! = )

  6. catsworking says:

    Joanaroo, Cats Working has a proud tradition of tuxedo cats as well, although we’re fresh out at the moment. The late Coco, Ginger, and Rex were all tuxedos. We’re very glad to see that you don’t discriminate against black cats, like many people do. Out of 8 cats, Karen has only had 2 who WEREN’T black — Adele and Fred.

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