Heaven Help Us, Sarah Palin’s a Free Agent

By Yul

Something smelled rotten when Sarah Palin claimed out of the blue she felt a “higher calling” and was abandoning her post as Alaska’s governor.

Everyone’s asking, “What next?” You can bet your treats she’s not thinking “homebody.” She’s been the family’s main breadwinner.

Obviously, someone has made her an offer she can’t refuse, and it’s in the lower 48. Move over, Ann Coulter.

I predict Palin intends to become the female Rush Limbaugh or a neocon Oprah — with a venue to make her a daily thorn in Obama’s side. She was just warming up when she took this swipe in her resignation speech, saying…

“And though it’s honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.”

She’s already threatening to take legal action against bloggers and any other media outlet that says anything about a Palin she doesn’t like. She wants hers to be the only voice heard, even if it means trampling everyone else’s freedom of speech.

One reason she cited for resigning was all the bashing of her family, as if she herself didn’t parade them whenever it served her purposes as John McCain’s running mate. Now the woman who claims she has the chops to be president suddenly can’t take tasteless jokes at her children’s expense.

I suspect Palin believes some divine power has anointed her to lead the Republicans from their ideological wilderness and fill their leadership vacuum. In gratitude, they will draft her as their presidential candidate in 2012. That’s why she’s keeping her PAC alive.

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5 Responses to Heaven Help Us, Sarah Palin’s a Free Agent

  1. Deb says:

    Oy…I thought we were safe from Palin as long as she stayed in Alaska.
    When she can go head to head with the commentators of the Sunday morning talk shows, perhaps I will change my opinion of her, but until then, she is not ready for prime time.

  2. Adele says:

    Gee Yul, I guess you had to take over for Adele, who usually covers Palin, because she was so spitting mad. I first heard a bit of the resignation speech on NPR, when I was in my car; I knew it had to be good, because the NPR commentator kept saying, “Oh, let’s hear just a little more of the speech.” That way I got to hear the point guard analogy.

    I had dinner with some friends on Friday night, and we were mostly of the opinion that she has some more legal trouble coming, so she needs to come to the lower 48 to make some $$. One person thought she was preggers again, thus engendering the “my children wouldn’t accept it if I stayed” comment. When I got home, I turned on Anderson Cooper and heard the whole speech. What a trainwreck! One friend of mine feels that she’s been “called” by the truly crazy wing of the Repubs, to be their poster girl.

    I just kept thinking that our first Republican president, Honest Abe, was spinning in his grave, knowing that he gave us the Gettysburg Address and the Second Inaugural Address and now we’re hearin about how a point guard knows when to pass the ball.

    You can’t pay for entertainmnet like this.

  3. catsworking says:

    Adele, our Adele passed me this Palin story because I think it spells bad news for Obama. Now in addition to having Rush Limbaugh dog his every move, he’s going to have Palin shooting her mouth off about everything.

    I feel certain of 2 things Palin hasn’t yet revealed. 1) Somebody offered her a highly lucrative platform to regularly spout off and 2) She thinks God told her it was OK to quit and grab the new gig.

    Let’s face it, she has legal troubles and a family to support, so there’s got to be something big waiting for her, and it’s not a book.

    If she doesn’t move the family to the lower 48, which she might, she’ll have an apartment in NY or Chicago or LA and spend most of her time here.

    Palin’s planning to go show-biz, but she thinks she’s going to be able to keep it politically-themed to keep her presidential hopes alive. But every time she opens her mouth, she’s going to remind people she’s an intellectual vacuum. Sure, she’ll have her following of neocon nut jobs, Ann Coulter defections. But evil as Coulter is, she’ll eventually figure out a way to wipe the floor with Palin.

    Without her office to hide behind, Palin the commentator/talk show host/whatever will make herself fair game for EVERYBODY. If she thinks the comedians have been brutal in the past, she ain’t seen nothing yet. Jon Stewart must be leaping for joy.

    By 2012, without another elected office, she’ll be a desperate political has-been. Even if the Republicans were stupid enough to nominate her, she’d be the fickle governor of the unpopulated state who couldn’t stick it out even one term, running against an incumbent president.

    Only in Palin’s mind does she have a snowball’s chance in hell.

  4. missedconceptions says:

    If the GOP was smart, they would distance themselves from her because she is very divisive within their party. I know many a conservative who would defect rather than vote for her.

    She can be coached well, but she is not a bright woman, and ultimately that will be her downfall. She is indeed an “intellectual vacuum.” She is a poster-woman for certain issues (gun-rights, abortion, etc…) but she really could never be a viable national candidate.

    I say, let them have her and do with her what they want. The woman is a fame-seeker and I hope she sinks their (admittedly already sinking) ship.

    I agree: is it Jon Stewart’s birthday? This may be the best gift he ever received.

  5. catsworking says:

    Missed, I think it’s going to be great fun to watch Palin crash and burn–by her own hand. With this whole scheme to “do her own thing” without constraints from people like McCain’s handlers or the Alaska legislature, she’s just weaving the rope to hang herself. Palin is so stupid, she doesn’t even know how stupid she is.

    I was just reading some e-mail exchanges between her and McCain’s people over Todd’s membership in that group that wants Alaska to secede. She tried to get them to flat-out lie about its purpose and pass them off as ordinary patriots, but McCain’s guy refused because it’s spelled out on the home page of the group’s Web site. If she keeps that stuff up, she’ll go down in flames with both feet in her mouth.

    Just as she found herself out of her depth being “mercilessly grilled” with “trick questions” by that ruthless barracuda, Katie Couric, once Palin’s out there competing with the talking heads on Fox, CNN, and all the comedians, she’s going to be out-classed and outwitted so fast it will make your head spin.

    Sure, she’ll always have the fringe crazies who think she’s wonderful. The same people who could hear that George Bush eats puppies for breakfast and love him anyway. But she’s leaping from a koi pond into the ocean.

    Look at me, I’m talking like I already know what’s next for her! But the only thing that makes sense is show biz in some form. No way is she going to just shut up, or accept a smaller pedestal than she already had.

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