Mine That Bird’s Got Jock(ey) Itch

By Adele

Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird has been unwittingly snared in two horsey love triangles. I caught him by phone at Churchill Downs, where he’s been stabled since placing third in the Belmont. His Triple Crown hopes had been dashed in the Preakness when his jockey, Calvin Borel, ditched him to ride Rachel Alexandra to a narrow victory.

Adele: Thanks for talking to me, Mine. Congratulations on the Derby. Sorry about the other 2 races, though. The Preakness was a squeaker, but what happened at Belmont when you had Borel back? Did you throw that race to spite him, as some (me) have speculated?

Mine: Adele, since betting’s involved, I have no comment, but let us say that we horses think little of jockeys who play us to win a Triple Crown for themselves. It’s supposed to be a horse honor.

A: That brings up your latest dilemma. Calvin Borel rode Rachel last Saturday to win the Mother Goose Stakes, and now he’s been dropped as your jockey in future races because he won’t commit to you through the Breeders’ Cup in November.

M: Me and Borel made a good team while it lasted, but the race is won by the horse, not the jockey. That guy let his head get turned by a fast filly. As far as I’m concerned, he can have her.

A: And now they’re trying to get Mike Smith, your jockey in the Preakness, to commit, but he’s hedging because he wants to ride Zenyatta, the mare he rode to win the Vanity Handicap last Saturday.

M: Zenyatta’s a freak with a thing for fat jockeys. She lets Smith pig out between races and still wins. Personally, I hope they find me a Munchkin jockey. They stay light without all the heaving.

A: I understand you’re running in the West Virginia Derby on August 1, at Saratoga on August 29, and maybe one more before the Breeders’ Cup at Santa Anita on November 7. That’s a pretty heavy schedule.

M: Hey, that’s what I do, baby. Horses run.

A: Rachel Alexandra’s owners are saying she probably won’t run in the Breeders’ Cup because it’s artificial turf.

M: That’s their call. Me, I got no problem. That’s what hooves are for. But I’ll tell ya, win or lose, any race without Borel and that filly is a good race for me.

A: Good luck with your next jockey, Mine, whoever he is.

M: Don’t worry, Adele. Loyal fans like you, I don’t want to disappoint. No matter who’s on my back, I promise I’ll give it my best shot.

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2 Responses to Mine That Bird’s Got Jock(ey) Itch

  1. Adele says:

    Adele, congrats on scoring an interview with Mine The Bird. And who would have thought that Mine’s speech would be so Damon Runyonesque? I guess that comes from hanging around race tracks.

  2. catsworking says:

    Adele, I figured if Big Brown would talk to Fred, Mine That Bird could talk to me. And he did! I was so nervous doing my first interview, you should have seen my pads sweat. But he was great. I expected him to be more of a Southern boy, but he’s obviously got a lot of street sense. (No offense, Mine. Just FYI to readers, Calvin Borel won the Derby on Street Sense in 2007.)

    With the female thoroughbreds making such a splash this year, it’s turned horse racing into a real Peyton Place. But Mine seems to have it all in perspective, and I’m sure he’ll do fine. But if I were Calvin Borel, I don’t think I’d go near Mine’s stable on a dark night. He’s probably got connections in low places.

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