Cheney’s for Gay Marriage & Pigs Fly

By Yul

The sport of Republican-on-Republican bashing got more interesting when the No. 2 windbag betrayed his own party, telling the National Press Club, “People ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish.”

Dick Cheney tried to skirt the issue as VP because his youngest daughter, Mary, is a lesbian. But now since he’s the Man Who Can’t Shut Up, his babbling is getting increasingly outrageous, shredding whatever ideals and dignity the Republicans have left.

No. 1 windbag, Rush Limbaugh, will resort to cannibalism if Cheney keeps it up. Rush can’t let the coldest, snarliest Republican — the guy who’d rather shoot people in the face than look at them — become a simpering pile of goo because Mary gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.

Apparently, Cheney found no cloven hooves or tail on his grandson Samuel, and sees that Mary doesn’t lick him to bathe him, or feed him regurgitated worms and grubs.

Cheney must have been further reassured when his blood ties to this child didn’t cause coarse hair to sprout on his palms or turn him against his own wife — the Republicans’ greatest fears when gays get together.

So Cheney thinks being gay isn’t all bad, and gay marriage legislation should be left up to the states.

He’s wrong. The federal government should make civil unions the national standard between all humans who want to hook up, carrying the same rights and benefits across the board.

“Marriage” should be split off as a separate, optional religious ceremony, since it’s largely symbolic and irrelevant day to day, like taking Communion or being baptized. Each faith can decide who they’ll allow to get married.

It’s called separation of church and state. Why does it take a cat to point this out?


5 Responses to Cheney’s for Gay Marriage & Pigs Fly

  1. FanGuy says:

    Pardon me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there an important difference between civil unions and state-sanctioned marriage? Cheney said “union”, not marriage.

  2. catsworking says:

    FanGuy, that’s exactly my point. People are throwing around “union” and “marriage” like they’re interchangeable (which I guess I did myself with this title), but there’s a big difference. The states should have nothing to do with marriage. It’s a church thing.

    But even if Cheney is OK with civil unions, it belies his usual “let them eat cake and take a bullet in the face” attitude toward everyone who doesn’t agree with him.

    Now I’m just waiting to hear how El Rushbo deals with it. If he trashes Cheney, he’s got nobody left.

  3. Adele says:

    Yul, as senior cat in residence, I see you feel the need to cover some of the current events beat. Good for you. I read the post to Alice, and after she sighed about your wit and wisdom for awhile, she asked whether she and I lived in a civil union. I don’t know if she gets the concept.

  4. catsworking says:

    Adele, even though Fred and I didn’t always see eye to eye (sometimes it was more tooth to claw), Fred was my literary mentor, and I’m trying to pick up where he left off where I can. Someone’s got to give the cat’s-eye perspective on these matters.

    Since we had Fred to do the heavy lifting around here, I think I gained the reputation of a lightweight. But now that’s got to change. I’ve got responsibilities.

    And one of them is locked in the guestroom, working up the guts to show himself. Adele and I met him briefly yesterday and, although he seemed more freaked out than either of us, our welcome wasn’t exactly warm (the vertical blinds on the sliding glass door got destroyed — his doing — he didn’t have to climb them on my account), and he spent the rest of the day on top of the fridge or under Karen’s bed.

    So now we’re taking it slow. I think she’s trying to get him smelling right before we meet again. More to come…

  5. Adele says:

    How very exciting! I’m sure there’ll be a blog entry about this, but just one question, is he a baby or has he got some years on him?

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