Cats Working vs. Kamakazi Bird

By Adele

Alfred Hitchcock would have loved this psychotic robin who lurked in the holly tree outside our kitchen window for 2 weeks, throwing himself at the glass every 30 seconds from sunrise to sunset. His incessant muffled thumping was the stuff of horror flicks.

Whenever Bird Brain took a break from beating himself senseless, he’d preen in Karen’s car windows, dribbling sour scream sprinkled with rat turds down the doors.

What's with birds and chronic diarrhea?

What's with birds and chronic diarrhea?

If Fred, Yul, or I were outdoor cats, this scene would have been a “wrap” in one take, if you know what I mean. Yul seriously considered slipping outside and evading punishment by charming Karen with an edible gift of “Mystery Poultry” upon his return.

But instead, we watched Karen’s futile attempts to scare off Bird Brain by taping pictures of a tiger and peregrine falcons to the window.

The bird didn’t miss a beat. Literally.

Then she tried enlisting us for windowsill sentry duty. The bird would scram, but we had napping and noshing to do, so we soon declared a strike.

To keep Narcissis from crapping all over her Saturn while admiring himself, Karen wrapped her car mirrors in yellow newspaper bags.

Finally, Dollar Tree provided relief in the form of three sharp plastic “wind catchers” that Karen nailed outside the windows.

Yul thinks, "Bird Brain could save me a step and debone himself on these."

Yul muses, "Bird Brain could save me a step by deboning himself on these."

We haven’t heard a thump since they went up, and the car remains sour-cream-free, so the robin’s reign of terror seems to be over.

If you ask us, he got off way too easy.

5 Responses to Cats Working vs. Kamakazi Bird

  1. Adele says:

    Adele, I’m glad your winged nuisance seems to have gone away and appreciate the pictures. Alice is delighted to see another picture of Yul; she’s hanging over the computer monitor, as I type this, sighing. She’s particularly taken with his white cravat, which has not been so obvious in previous photos. When I commented that you cats could have been more help on sentry duty, Alice just looked at me and said, “As if — house cats don’t have duties, we expect to be cared for by our humans.”

  2. catsworking says:

    Adele and Alice, Yul considers himself a 100% black cat, but he does have that one little white patch. And he seems to be getting a bit more white fur in the pits of his arms and legs, which only makes him look more distinguished.

    We all took a turn on the windowsill where you see Yul. Our mere presence seemed to keep the bird away. We love to sit up there when Karen opens the window, but right now it’s cold out and the screen is covered with bird crap, so she’s keeping the window closed and we’re much comfier on the living room furniture.

    But you’ve just given me an idea. Karen has a lot of STUFFED cats, and one of them looks almost just like Yul! Maybe she could put it on the windowsill and trick Bird Brain into thinking it’s one of US!

  3. Bob says:

    I get the fact that kittys of the indoor variety..
    But one Robin just the smell of a cat should have chased it off…

    Maybe next time get Karen to let you out and about, have fun pee on things…Rub your face to your hearts content.

    Own everything, its what you do best after all..

    But honestly nothing a good car wash can’t save

    …..think tony has crossed the line.
    Lets see what he does in Beruit.

    I Morgan and my self have made our points on his board….

    As always


  4. catsworking says:

    Bob, we have this neighborhood cat who wanders through our yard occasionally, spraying every tree trunk he passes. The last thing you could call him is classy. He’s one of the reasons we’re not allowed out. Yul and Fred would be out there kicking his ass every day. Also, although the speed limit is 25 mph, people drive on our street like they’re at Indie.

    That rotten Bird Brain actually came BACK yesterday afternoon, but he’s toned it down a lot, flinging himself against the window more gently and less often, mindful of the sharp wind catchers I guess. I think he just likes hanging out in that tree like a voyeur.

    Karen had her car washed this morning, and she’s still keeping her side mirrors under wraps to keep it clean.

    I know this is going to sound like we’re pretty full of ourselves (I guess we have Ingrid at Roon241 to thank for that, since she keeps calling us “influential bloggers” 😉 ), but when Karen saw Bourdain’s note to Rachael Ray on his blog a few days after Karen wrote about the fruit basket, she wondered if somebody in the Bourdain family hadn’t been reading Cats Working and figured they’d better nip any misunderstanding in the bud.


    Karen did see yours and Morgan’s comments on Bourdain’s blog. There should be no doubt in his mind that Cats Working readers continue to be plugged in.

  5. Adele says:

    You guys be careful. Alice and I are beginning to think the Mr. Robin may have some kind of avian disease that’s rotted his brain — although the fact that he’s still alive may argure against that. We do worry about cross species contamination, though, so it’s just as well you can’t get at him. Tell Karen to be careful, too.

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