Dogs Aren’t Fair, They’re Just Sore Losers

By Adele

Researchers have been wasting money again finding out that dogs have a sense of fairness. Who cares?

They did it by putting 2 dogs side-by-side and asking them to “give paw.”

"Howdy, pleased to meet you!"

"Howdy, pleased to meet you!"

"Hey, wait a minute! HE gets a treat?"

"Hey, wait a minute! HE gets a treat?"

"Screw this. I've been used!"

"Screw this. I've been used!"

(All AP Photos – Friederike Range, PNAS)

As these photos show, after the dog on the left gave paw, he turned snotty after seeing the dog on the right do the same thing and get a treat.

The treats in question were bread or sausage. Researchers found that the dogs didn’t seem to care which treat they got. With dogs, it’s the thought that counts, not the taste.

The humans could have saved themselves some trouble by just watching how people behave in “dog-eat-dog” Corporate America.

Managers have known for years that workers will perform the same boring, dead-end tricks endlessly for the measliest possible reward. As long as everybody gets the same lousy treatment, they’ll keep coming back for more.

This has never worked with cats, as the Meow Mix Game Show recently demonstrated. Most of those catestants refused to just walk – no tricks required – to an open container of Meow Mix® Wholesome Goodness™.

And as each cat was eliminated until one was named the winner, you didn’t see any of the losers showing a lot of catitude. They couldn’t have cared less.

Dogs may have some petty sense of fairness that humans find noble, but they’d do better to look to cats to find the common sense not to sweat the small stuff and turn everything into a pointless competition.

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