No Surprise: Dog Owners Love McCain

By Fred

Dog owners, lovers of unquestioning devotion and blind obedience (and predominantly white), prefer John McCain over Barack Obama 43% to 34%. They must want a president who’ll doggedly maintain the disastrous Bush status quo until no one’s left.

Except for Dick Cheney. Using his free, taxpayer-paid healthcare, he’s rigged his heart so he’ll even outlast the Energizer Bunny.

To match Obama’s youthful friskiness, that old dog McCain does occasionally try new tricks, but they always seem to leave him clenching a tennis ball, looking for someone else to play fetch with. For example, when he thought he’d get treats, he rolled over for evangelicals he once thought were nut jobs.

McCain owns 4 dogs himself, so he’s used to being worshipped as leader of the pack and never questioned, no matter how dense or misguided he is. As a result, he has this 9-point lead among fellow owners of the world’s dimmest pets.

When you factor in cats (who outnumber dogs as pets by 13 million), McCain’s advantage over Obama shrinks to 3% (41% to 38%), even though McCain’s trying to cover all this bases with a black-and-white cat named (yawn) Oreo.

He probably has no idea Oreo’s a Democat who will never submit to being herded or brainwashed if his human wins the White House.

Obama has no pets because he says his kids have allergies, but he’s vowed to get a dog after the election, win or lose.

Big mistake, Obama. You’re obviously a cat person. Get one of our non-allergenic breeds and you won’t have to keep a poop-scoop in the Oval Office.

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10 Responses to No Surprise: Dog Owners Love McCain

  1. hey..check out my latest post > http://afaustianbargain.blogspot.com/2008/07/dogs-for-obama.html

    dick cheney has a heart? i thought he has a stone in that place..dark, cold and hard.

  2. catsworking says:

    Karen signed your petition. We agree with you that if Obama gets a dog, it should be a shelter dog. But we’re still holding out for a change of heart and he’ll decide to get a cat. Even better – one of both! He’s got 2 little girls. They should each have their own pet.

  3. the white house isnt a “2bedroom/2 bath with a single car garage”…i think that he can pick more than a few dogs and cats…but then again, if he isnt a ‘pet person’, he shouldnt be coerced to have a dog or a cat just because all presidents are expected to have one. to be honest, he doesnt strike me as a pet person. but i still think he’s a zillion times better than the other wanker even if he owns four dogs.

  4. catsworking says:

    Obama has a feline mindset. He’s agile with words, refuses to let himself be boxed in, seems to have a good feel for when to pick his battles, and always lands on his feet. We think he’d be happier with a cat.

    Besides, after 8 years of that stupid Bush cat, India, who has let Barney and Miss Beazley walk all over her, we need a strong Democat under the Lincoln bed for a change.

    But the Obama kids will probably have a say in the decision.

    As for the other “wanker,” he’s also got a couple of turtles and parakeets and some saltwater fish.

  5. how can i disagree with you?

    p.s. he’s still a wanker.

  6. Net says:

    “to be honest, he [Barack Obama] doesnt strike me as a pet person.”
    +++
    I agree with the above comment-quote. And how would a pet react do you think to seeing a baby born alive from a botched abortion all bloody and screaming, yet left to die, as B.O. is going to put into allowable law as soon as possible if he is elected? My cats (all of three of them) gather around me (like a group of saviors) even when I have just a migraine. (So did my two labs.)

    Come on Dems … (I used to vote on your ticket for years, but no more!) … open your eyes (and hearts!) to this perilous … er, I mean petless man.

  7. catsworking says:

    Net, we at Cats Working support the Dems because they offer the only hope of Karen ever getting decent, affordable healthcare.

    We think abortion, whether early or late-term, is a problem it is because many women lack access to or can’t afford more reliable birth control than condoms. (There will always be some unwanted pregnancies due to the sheer stupidity factor), but making women’s care available to all would probably help the situation.

  8. what would you suggest? sterilisation instead of abortion? is someone going to take care of the babies parents cant afford to have? just asking…perhaps we need a president who’d ban sex and issue licences to those who’d want to have children..

    OR

    we could respect the basic right of every woman..to do whatever she wants with her body.

  9. louis kayser says:

    everyone should have a cat, they can solve all our problems with there ultra superior intelligence. they don’t like work but with access to a laptop they can transfer there thoughts without effort. they can easily figure new inventions in a matter of seconds that would take humans hundreds of years. we should turn cats loose on the laptops, let them come out with these inventions and new ideas. after the cats inpliment these findings[ which will only take them a few seconds] then we should obiently follow up with the less brainy manual work while the kitty’s go back to sleep.

  10. catsworking says:

    Louis, the only thing that has held cats back until now is our lack of thumbs to operate the spacebar, but we’re catching up fast.

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