Have Cats Been Playing the Met?

By Fred

Thanks to mice who snuck in for free, the Metropolitan Opera House in New York racked up 13 health code violations in April. Who ever knew vermin are into opera? Imagine what notes a soprano could hit if a mouse ran up her leg onstage.

A rodent’s home is his castle – literally.

The Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found signs of rodents in both food and non-food areas. But to put this in perspective, they say the average NYC restaurant earns 15 points. So the mice must have shown at least some class in their posh surroundings by not leaving crap on everything.

A spokesman for the company that runs the Met’s Grand Tier Restaurant said “procedures were put in place” to deal with the little visitors, but no one knows what they are.

If they were smart, they hired cats instead of Terminex® for the job. We’re clean, quiet, odorless (at least, the non-sprayers), and use no harmful chemicals. If in the mood for a nosh, we’ll throw in carcass disposal for free.

Often, all it takes is the presence of a few cats in a place to send the little pests packing. They can’t stand us because we’re bigger, smarter, adored by humans who love to hear us purr, and have nicer tails.

The building was inspected again this week and seemed rodent-free, but the Met isn’t saying how they did it. If they want to keep it that way, they need to set up a comfy bed and litterbox somewhere on the premises and bring in a resident exterminator.


One Response to Have Cats Been Playing the Met?

  1. DATELINE: EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND. Interestingly, earlier this week our across-the-hall neighbour saw a mouse in his bedroom. He slept with elasticized-ankled sweat pants for the rest of the week–as he had no interest in hitting a high note.

    He asked if I might be interested in becoming the resident mouser of No. 5 Perth Street. The offer is flattering and I’m still considering it, but if they’re going to make me wear a little tartan hat with a pom pom, I say they’ve hired me as the resident MASCOT of No. 5 Perth Street. And I don’t believe in moonlighting!

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