I Don’t Get It

By Adele

Let’s lighten the mood by turning our attention to science. I watch a lot more TV than the average cat, and I’m not talking just Video Catnip. That’s how I learned about human “restless leg syndrome,” or RLS. It sounds crazy, but I know it’s real because cats sometimes get restless legs, too. But we don’t pop pills. We climb the drapes or chase something. Or chase something up the drapes.

Anyway, I saw this ad for an RLS pill called Requip. It said side effects may include intense urges to gamble or have sex. How nice. While you’re running amok in Las Vegas, spending your last dime and chasing floozies, you won’t feel fidgety.

And they call that a “cure?”

Then I read that doctors are distressed because women are refusing to pop some new pills called raloxifene and letrozole that could prevent breast cancer just because the teensy-weensy trade-offs are blood clots and osteoporosis.

Imagine that. Perfectly healthy women don’t want to take something to prevent a disease they don’t have so they can have heart attacks and strokes or become shrunken hunchbacks instead.

It makes me glad that cats have a solid reputation for spitting pills out. Who needs ‘em?

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