Chapter 129: COVID Chronicles

October 19, 2020

By Karen

Day 222

More Movie Reviews

In-person voting at satellite locations begins today in Virginia and a there’s one at a library around the corner from me, with a dropbox. I’ll check the news to see how turnout is before I venture over there. I can stand in line for a while to cast a vote, but if it’s too crazy, I can leave my absentee ballot as Plan B.

This insanely heavy early voting seems a good omen for Biden, but I won’t rest until the Trump crime family is behind bars. Since Trump caught COVID, he’s raving more maniacally than ever. His babbling at rallies revealed he’s considered fleeing the country. It’s rumored that he’s discussed resigning in exchange for walking free on myriad crimes, including those in New York. I hope that doesn’t happen. I want to see him face payback — bigly.

Meanwhile, I’ve been watching lots of movies. This past weekend, I saw two “comedies” that were anything but. First was Downhill (2020) with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell playing a couple on an Austrian ski vacation with their two sons. When an avalanche threatens to bury them all, Will grabs his phone and runs, leaving Julia with the kids. Julia spends the rest of the movie traumatized and disgusted with Will, which puts Will into his own emotional crisis. Here’s the review.

It was based on a 2014 Swedish film called Force Majeure set in the French Alps, which I found on Amazon Prime and also watched. Swedish has a lot in common with Norwegian, so I got in some practice. I found these characters more believable yet colorful than the Americans, and the attempts at humor more subtle than the scenes added to give Julia and Will a few funny moments. Here’s the review at

In the end, I didn’t like either one much. But that’s probably because I don’t give two shits about the dynamics of married couples’ relationships. I live with cats.

Here’s another one: Back in 2017, I anticipated, the missed, seeing A Quiet Passion, starring Cynthia Nixon (Miranda on Sex and the City) as Emily Dickinson. If it ever came to Richmond, it left the next day, but it’s now available on Amazon Prime. Oh. My. God. We need a new word for “ponderous” to describe this one.

Granted, any film about a paranoid recluse who never goes beyond her garden would be action-challenged, but five minutes to pan across a living room wall to show Emily lurking behind a door listening to music? Puleez.

It was surprising in its historical inaccuracy. To name just one, it killed off Emily’s mother, a helpless invalid Emily cared for, years before she actually died, presumably to give Emily more free time to get weirder. I refute just about everything in this review at except in that Cynthia was physically perfect in the role. However, her delivery of Emily’s poetry and almost every character’s dialogue sounded like high school actors doing Shakespeare without knowing what the words mean. It was hard to sit through this one to the end, even though she was only 56 when she died.

Then also on Amazon Prime I happened across Hotel Splendide from 2000, with Daniel Craig and Stephen Tompkinson (whom I crushed on as DCI Banks). This was — by far — the weirdest and BEST one of the bunch. It’s set at a creepy hotel on an island somewhere off the U.K., I think, accessible only once a month by ferry. The guests are fed only seaweed and fish-based meals made by Daniel Craig, which powers the hotel’s vast heating system, which runs on poop.

All hell (and shit) breaks loose when a woman who was once sous chef there — now a chef in the real world — returns and takes over the kitchen to serve real food. But that’s just the surface story. The characters’ relationships and who summoned the woman back to the island make up the real plot.

It’s one of those movies whose humor springs from its own absurd world with its own rules. To enjoy it, you just accept it, like The Grand Budapest Hotel.

These days, anything that takes me away from reality for a few hours is a winner.

BONUS: Comedian Sarah Cooper on How to Drug…

Let’s Talk SCOTUS

October 15, 2020

By Karen

Over three days of questions, Amy Coney Barrett cynically tried to convince us she’s a woman of no opinion. Even matters proscribed by ironclad laws (which were read to her) could be argued. By bending over backward to seem 100% impartial, she came off as 100% for sale to the highest bidder.

She also would have us believe that Trump didn’t make her swear to overturn Roe v. Wade, abolish the ACA, and ensure that he remains president if the election goes to the Supreme Court, even though Trump has been clear that those are his SCOTUS pick benchmarks.

No, those topics never came up in their conversations. As if Donald “Quid Pro Quo” Trump wouldn’t go there, after he’s been twisting arms left and right to get staff, doctors, and Congress to lie and crime for him since Moscow Mitch blessed Trump’s attempt to blackmail Ukraine by not removing him from office.

To top it off, Trump tells voters, “You’ll get a big stimulus check after the election — if you make me win it.”

“You’ll have much better and cheaper health care because I have a plan — which I’ll tell you about after you give me another four years.”

Kamala Harris may have scored the only point in Barrett’s farcical hearing by getting Barrett to concede that smoking causes cancer. But Barrett only copped to that by citing the warning on cigarette packages as her reason.

There seems to be no way Democrats can stop this skank from using Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s coffin as a step up to her cushy eternal job where, by all indications from her past, she intends to gleefully set women’s rights back 100 years.

But the Democrats could still fix this.

Republicans’ panties are in a wad now because Biden and Harris won’t say whether they’ll “pack the court” with Democratic judges by expanding it once they’re in office. (Question: If Republicans are so sure Trump’s winning, why do they even care about this? It should be moot.)

My suggestion: The Democrats should UNPACK the court. Just as there’s no law against adding justices, I don’t think there’s a law against rightsizing. Go ahead and take that bloated sucker down to seven members. And while you’re at it, impose term limits. Fuck this “justice for life” bullshit. Why do we treat them like demigods?

How does Congress decide who gets kicked off? Easy-peasy. Corporate America rationalizes layoffs all the time with LIFO — Last In, First Out.

That means Barrett and Kavanaugh take a hike. And don’t let those big, heavy doors hit your asses on the way down the SCOTUS steps.

That leaves Gorsuch as the only Trump plant. Of the three, I find him the least ignorant and offensive, and he did help protect the LGBTQ community’s workplace rights, so he’s not totally hopeless.

That puts John Roberts back in the driver’s seat as the deciding vote, restoring some fairness and normalcy to the third branch of government once Democrats regain the presidency and the Senate.

BONUS: Since Trump chickened out of a virtual format for a town hall debate against Biden tonight, Biden scheduled his own town hall in Pennsylvania, airing at 8 p.m. ET on ABC. So, copycat Trump got NBC to give him one at the same time in Miami, complete with powder-puff moderator Savannah Guthrie.

Joke’s on Trump. It’s outside, and he’ll be competing with the traffic on the MacArthur Causeway (Biden had one in the same venue October 5, and it was deafening). As Trump strains to emote, I hope it brings on a choking fit. I won’t see it; I’ll be watching Biden.

Here’s Trump at his rally in Des Moines, Iowa, last night. He gloated over Bruce Ohr, who’s currently as newsworthy as Hillary’s emails (look him up). No one noticed when Trump called Ohr’s wife Molly. Her name is Nellie.

Right after that, trashing Hunter Biden, Trump failed three times to say “Burisma,” finally proclaiming his mangled fourth attempt how “they” pronounce it…

Chapter 128: COVID Chronicles

October 12, 2020

By Karen

Day 215

Mini-Review of Bob Woodward’s Rage & Tony’s Latest News

I finally finished Rage by Bob Woodward. My recommendation is, if you haven’t read it, don’t. Woodward shot his wad prepublication by releasing the tape proving Trump comprehended how deadly COVID was in February and continues to lie about it.

The only other quasi-revelation was Trump’s flat denial of feeling white male superiority when he accused Woodward of “drinking the Kool-Aid” for being cognizant of the sorry state of race relations.

Woodward and Trump spoke at least 18 times and Trump knew Woodward recorded most of their conversations. Trump would call him at all hours just to vent. Transcripts of that are more examples of the repetitive, evasive lies, boasts and exaggerations we see every day.

Rage’s ultimate value will be that, as a meticulous journalist, Woodward didn’t write anything he couldn’t verify (unless he stated that), so it’s vetted, documented backup to the growing pile of Trump books that rely on observation more than research.

Now, on to cat news…

Tony had two trips to the vet in the past week because he needed shots for FDRC and rabies. I split them because he doesn’t have a track record with vaccines and I didn’t want to overload his system.

He was calm before the first visit, which involved a full checkup (so maybe thermometer up the butt) and the FDRC shot. I had to wait out in the parking lot. The vet called and told me Tony might have “Some Long Word I’ve Never Heard Before,” on his ears. I know it wasn’t “alopecia,” because I know that one, but she meant “not enough fur.”

Great, he just happened to walk in while I was typing this. Tell me what you think…

I told her his ears have always looked like that. She didn’t put it on his paperwork, so I don’t know if she was pitching me Rogaine for Cats or what.

A week later for the rabies shot, Tony was clearly having unpleasant flashbacks. He didn’t want to get in the carrier and tried to go under the blanket inside it. On the drive home, he meowed and tried to grab me through the bars (carrier was belted in the passenger seat). For the rest of the day, he ran whenever he saw me coming. Those shots must have hurt.

But he’s fine now, and his new thing is the closet outside my bedroom that houses the washer, dryer, hot water heater, and anything else I can fit because this house is chronically short on storage. It’s more of a kitty deathtrap than a kitty wonderland…

As soon as Tony heard me open the closet doors for that photo, he showed up…

Two cats had incidents there. Sweet Rex fell behind the dryer, but I was able to coax him around to the side. By lying across the washer and dryer myself, I was able to lift him out by his collar…

Fabulous Yul also took the plunge, but he escaped by executing an amazing vertical leap onto the dryer — carrying a sock in his mouth that I’d lost back there ages ago…

Last week Tony ventured a peek into the dryer for a moment before I started a load…

Roc has explored the closet and made it to the top of the hot water heater. Thankfully, he didn’t jump down.


BONUS: You’ve seen this scene in Hitler’s bunker here before, but this time it’s been dubbed with Trump’s response to COVID and you’ll enjoy it…

Thoughts on the VP Debate

October 8, 2020

By Karen

Instead of composing a post on the VP debate last night, I’m sharing my raw notes, which I’ve cleaned up for clarity:

WTF with stage? They want everyone catching COVID? Chairs too close, Plexiglas too small. Unprotected moderator within spewing distance.

Pence is a bot. Defends Trump no matter what or how nonsensical. When asked to answer for Trump’s atrocities, deflects & projects.

Pence runs FAR over time to spout lies on COVID questions.

Harris finally warms up, but pulls a punch not asking Pence, “If your management of virus has been so great, why did Trump catch it?”

Pence to Harris on vaccine: “Stop playing politics with people’s lives.” Hypocrite!

Pence, asked about VP’s role, answers with more COVID BS, then veers into swine flu. Claims Obama left Trump a “depleted stockpile” (of what?).

Pence: “The American people have a right to know about the health and well-being of the president” & Trump’s doctors will “continue their transparency.” Translation: more lies coming.

Harris answers question about president’s health with Trump’s taxes. Not good.

Pence recites Fox fan fiction about Trump’s integrity.

On economic recovery, Pence recites a list of lies about Biden’s plans. When Harris alludes to Pence lying, he interrupts to debate that & persists until she finally shuts him down.

Pence: “President Trump and I have a plan to improve health care.” Response should be: Why has nobody ever seen it?

Instead of answering questions, both too intent on getting in rehearsed facts and digs, even if totally off-topic.

Pence claims under Trump we have the cleanest air and water ever. Gets no push-back.

Pence fixated on fracking and fossil fuels. Claims Biden will abolish both.

Harris says Trump took words “science” and “climate change” off the website. Fact. Pence just shakes his head.

Pence: “The climate is changing, we’ll follow the science,” then veers off into taxes. And again with the fucking fracking! Keeps harping on Green New Deal & invokes AOC. Dog whistle to the base.

Harris does a good job of speaking directly to voters.

Pence: “Biden has been a cheerleader for China over the past several decades.” Also says to Harris several times, like he’s so clever, “You’re entitled to your opinion, but not your own facts.”

Pence defends Trump’s USMCA (was NAFTA), but question was about China.

Pence blames China for COVID & repeats China travel ban AGAIN as Trump’s shining moment.

Harris: Obama-Biden had an office on pandemics & sent people to China, but Trump abolished all of it. Pence gives sad head shake, his go-to response to all facts.

Finally, Harris mentions Russia. Trump “embracing dictators” and “unilateral approach to foreign policy and isolationism.” Trump “doesn’t understand what it means to be honest.”

Can hear Pence’s every breath. COVID maybe?

Pence not interrupting as much as Trump, but he runs past his time a LOT & Mod lets him.

Harris says Trump called troops’ brain injuries “headaches.” Pence’s head tilts left with vaguely pained poker face. He’s feeling his ass getting handed to him.

Pence responds to “absurd slanders” against Trump with whopper: “President Trump not only respects, but reveres, all of those who serve in our armed forces, and any other suggestion is ridiculous.”

Mod reminds Pence his campaign agreed to debate rules, and that he’s taking more time than Harris.

Pence dodges every new question by babbling more on previous question. Will not, cannot, stay on topic because he’s got nothing.

Pence’s eyes are really red. He’s about to test positive.

Harris’ “happy warrior” demeanor amazing. She should have bitch-slapped that lying bastard senseless by now.

Pence brings up “separation of powers” on SCOTUS. Desperately insists Harris answer whether Dems will “pack the court,” as if the fucking Republicans haven’t already done that by STEALING two seats.

When they show Pence at just the right angle, he has bat ears.

Black speck on Pence’s hair? Was it there before? [Back up DVR] No. A fly!

Photo: Newsweek

Pence denies Trump refused to condemn white supremacists in first debate.

After several minutes, fly leaves. Bored? Can’t Pence feel it?

Pence invokes Trump’s Jewish grandkids as proof Trump condemns white supremacists. WTF?

Disappointed with Harris. She didn’t always answer questions & could have squashed Pence much more with direct, factual put-downs.

Pence devolved into Trump, lying, babbling, talking overtime, interrupting, trying to dominate.

Pence’s closing statement: “I believe in all my heart that President Donald Trump is going to be elected for 4 more years.” He knows they’re losing. More lies about Obama spying on Trump. Poor Trump, “No obstruction, no collusion, case closed.” They “tried” to impeach Trump “over a phone call.” Mail-in voter fraud. Accuses Biden of trying to “change the rules” of elections (projection). Assorted bat-shit nonsense.

Post-debate: Mother joins Pence on stage sans mask. They can share a ventilator.

BONUS: It didn’t seem possible, but Randy Rainbow has upped his game, teaming up with Patti LuPone on this amazing number from Gypsy that makes me giddy at the prospect…

DOUBLE BONUS: When Trump sprang himself from the hospital, The Lincoln Project turned his “Il Douchebag” balcony scene into “Covita”!…

Trump Thinks He’s the COVID Miracle Boy

October 5, 2020

By Karen

For weeks, Trump’s been looking sweaty and pale under his orange paint. I suspect he caught COVID from his peeps — Hope Hicks, Kellyanne Conway and Chris Christie — who tested positive last week. They’d been huddling unmasked together doing debate prep.

Or perhaps they all caught COVID from Trump, who caught it at rallies. Including Melania, who flew with him to and from the Cleveland debate on September 29.

After Trump admitted testing positive on October 2, it’s been one evasion or lie after another. Nobody knows what to believe, nor if Trump really even has it.

Bottom line: I believe Trump has COVID. He also has dementia. The White House staff’s paramount concern (particularly after his cuckoo debate) — which has been relayed to Trump’s doctors — is, screw COVID. Job One is to conceal the dementia. So they’re doing and saying whatever it takes to keep Trump happy and calm.

He wants photos of himself working, looking healthy? Fine, take some pictures…

He wants a joy ride around Walter Reed to wave to his fans? Sure, warm up the car…

He’s bored and he wants to be discharged? Great, the sooner the better.

They’re implying that Trump’s miraculous turn from positive result to full recovery within 48 hours — with virtually no downtime actually sick — is due to shooting him full of every drug therapy out there. Every one, that is, except those Trump himself touts: hydroxychloroquine, Clorox, Lysol and laser light.

Within hours of Trump’s positive result, he got an experimental “antibody cocktail” from Regeneron Pharmaceuticals that’s in Phase 3 trials and not FDA-approved, because the president of the United States should be used as a drug trial guinea pig.

In the hospital, Trump got remdesivir and dexamethasone, the latter of which is typically used only on serious cases, according to competent doctors.

From what anyone could piece together from the conflicting statements, omissions and dodges by Trump’s doctor, Sean Conley, DO, (an osteopath, not an infectious disease specialist) over the weekend, it seemed safe to assume Trump was much worse off than they were admitting. But shortly thereafter, Trump was in out the street, toodling around the hospital.

So Trump’s belief apparently remains intact that COVID is some little 24-hour bug you can shake off with a good night’s sleep.

However, no one Trump’s age, with his weight and preexisting conditions, recovers from COVID in a weekend. If Trump shows up at the White House this week no worse for wear, he’ll prove it’s all been a lie. He’ll make a mockery of the 214,000 people who have died, using them for the sole purpose of distracting us from his taxes and his terrible debate performance. And we fell for it.

He also had no qualms about wasting precious resources at Walter Reed and destroying its doctors’ credibility (à la Dr. Birx) by forcing them to dupe us all, including Biden, who pulled his attack ads thinking Trump was ill.

If Trump gets discharged and is allowed to immediately jet off to a big rally in some red state with spiking COVID cases and he doesn’t drop dead on stage, he’ll double down on the “Democrat hoax” and dismiss COVID’s deadliness. And we’re all screwed in hoping for some national response going into fall and winter when it’s supposed to get even worse.

Trump dreams of showing the world what a perfect specimen of god-like immortality he is. But every person whom COVID has sickened, or who knows anyone who died from it, will hate his fucking guts even more.

As Trump talks hospital discharge, he’s entering COVID’s most dangerous days and he could go downhill fast. Fingers crossed he does. I’m not going to be hypocritical about that. Trump has caused the deaths of enough immigrants, U.S. soldiers and everyday Americans to forfeit all “Wishes for a speedy recovery.”

COVID can have him. The sooner, the better.

Chapter 127: COVID Chronicles

October 2, 2020

By Tony

Day 205

RAL Calendar Update & My Preakness Picks

Karen’s letting me do a special post today because I’ve got news to report (making Roc and Max look like total slugs in this blogging business).

I still don’t know what month I got, but here’s the photo they’re using…

Karen took this of me on my big photo shoot day after the photographer left and I came out of hiding. But the photographer did clean up the tatty corner of my perch.

Karen also wrote the blurb about me that’s going with it, but I’ll save that as a surprise for anyone who orders the calendar, which you can do from the Richmond Animal League website (no pressure, I get no credit for that).

On the sports beat, the third and final race of Triple Crown season is the Preakness Stakes this Saturday. It will be on NBC and post time is 5:45 p.m. ET.

Only 11 horses are running. Tiz the Law, who won the Belmont and came in second to Authentic in the Kentucky Derby, is taking a pass to rest up for the Breeder’s Cup Classic in November.

Authentic, who won the Kentucky Derby in September, is back as the favorite (odds 9-5) to try for two out of three. He’s running from post position 9. I hope he’s third.

Max Player is the only horse who’s shown up for all three races. He’s starting right next to Authentic in pp 8. Even though his odds are 15-1, I’m rooting for Maxy to win this one because he came in third at Belmont, fifth in the Derby, and his persistence and can-do attitude deserves a win.

And for second place? My pick is in memory of the big sister I never met, Adele. She would have put all her treats on Swiss Skydiver (pp 4, 6-1) because SHE’S A FILLY.

The last girl to win the Preakness was Rachel Alexandra in 2009, a race covered by our late Fred. Then Adele got this exclusive interview with “Alexandra the Great” when she was named Horse of the Year. She’s one tough broad.

BONUS: Karen was poking around the web and asked me to include this delightful montage of show tunes she found (Attn Anita in CA: Moulin Rouge is in here!). It’s delightful and matches her mood after learning that Trump and Melania finally get to experience the joys of COVID. It’s a little long, but it goes fast if you like this stuff…

Wait, What Did I Say About Republicans Digging Graves?

October 1, 2020

By Karen

The hole got a few feet deeper September 29, when Joe Biden and Donald Trump stood on a stage together. I can’t call it a “debate” because it was 90 minutes of a sneering, smirking, babbling orangutan flinging verbal feces at two mature adults.

To the Republican Party’s everlasting damnation, that orangutan (whom I’ll never call a “president”) is in the White House, and every sniveling coward still enabling him is a cult member.

What’s driving me bonkers is how journalists, pundits and politicians are dealing with the aftermath.

Yesterday morning, the Richmond Times-Dispatch ran this AP story that made NO MENTION of Trump’s unhinged behavior. Here’s just the lede (newspaper-speak for opening or summary)…

President Donald Trump and Democratic challenger Joe Biden squared off Tuesday night in their crucial first debate of the 2020 campaign, the most pivotal opportunity yet for them to outline starkly different visions for a country facing multiple crises.

Hours later, under the same headline and with the same four AP reporters’ bylines, Tulsa World ran this  complete rewrite

The first debate between President Donald Trump and Democratic challenger Joe Biden deteriorated into bitter taunts and near chaos Tuesday night as Trump repeatedly interrupted his opponent with angry — and personal — jabs that sometimes overshadowed the sharply different visions each man has for a nation facing historic crises.

The whole article was redone, calling it the “most tumultuous presidential debate in recent memory,” with “heated clashes,” “deeply personal attacks,” “belligerent tone” and “Trump interrupting, nearly shouting, so often that Biden eventually snapped at him, ‘Will you shut up, man?”

Finally, a truer description of what we all saw. This is what Trump’s usual “harshest” Republican critics (but ultimately sycophants) said…

Senator Susan Collins of Maine: “It was the least educational debate of any presidential debate I’ve ever seen.”

Gee, Susan, ya THINK?

Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska: “It was awful.”

By not saying WHY, they throw half the blame in Biden’s lap, which is bullshit.

Any complete and honest assessment MUST include the word “BECAUSE.”

Because… Trump has become incapable of answering questions or having reasonable discussions. His addled thinking clearly revolves around spite. If he’s on meds, they’re making it worse. Forget the election, he showed he’s unfit to be in the White House now and should be removed immediately for national security.

Biden’s assessment was even too kind. He called Trump…

“A self-entitled, self-serving president who thinks everything is about him. He thinks if he just yells louder and lower, throws out lie after lie, he’ll get his way.”

Biden was superhuman in keeping his cool while Trump wouldn’t let him finish a sentence. When Trump blew off Biden’s son Beau’s military service so he could pivot to mocking Hunter’s past drug use (with Don Jr. likely coked to the gills in the audience), Trump spat in the face of every parent in the country.

One thing Biden managed to say that got the biggest rise from Trump came while discussing COVID-19 response. Trump let Biden speak for about 30 seconds, and Joe said Trump needs to get “a lot smarter, a lot quicker.”

Clearly, “smarter” was the only word Trump registered. With menace, he asked, “Did you use the word ‘smart’?” Then he babbled about Biden’s college, accused him of being at the bottom of his class, and devolved into this gibberish: “Don’t ever use the word ‘smart’ with me. Because you know what? There’s nothing smart about you, Joe.”

Biden somehow refrained from delivering the perfect retort, “You’re absolutely right, Donald. I apologize. Nobody should ever use the word ‘smart’ and your name in the same sentence.”

When it was finally over, the wives came on stage. While Jill Biden gave Joe a big hug, Melania let Trump hold her hand, and he tried to jerk her arm out of its socket…

Now would be the perfect time for Trump’s doctors to honor their “duty to warn” and come clean about what’s up with his neurology. It’s malpractice to risk allowing a patient whose brain they KNOW is melting into goo to have another four years to destroy the country.

This shit show was at Case Western Reserve University, the research arm of the Cleveland Clinic. Trump’s family and staff were asked and refused to wear masks in the audience. The Biden side wore them throughout.

The next event will be a Miami town hall on October 15, where the candidates will take audience questions. I’m betting Joe will freely wander the stage, but they’ll give Trump a podium so he doesn’t face-plant.

BONUS: Trump’s obvious derangement is even more pronounced in writing. Here’s a complete transcript of the event.

Watching Republicans Dig Their Own Graves

September 28, 2020

By Karen

By dismissing Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dying wish to wait until after the election to replace her, Trump, Moscow Mitch, and Losing Lindsey pissed on her casket as it sat on the Supreme Court steps.

And their pick, Amy Coney Barrett, had no problem stepping over Justice Ginsburg’s body before was even in the ground.

I only caught a bit of Barrett’s acceptance speech. So young, so cute, all those children, such family values.

But she clerked for Antonin Scalia, has only three years of judicial experience, and Trump likes her. That’s enough for me to conclude she’s an unqualified, reactionary dip-shit (female Kavanaugh, if you will) who would set the country back 150 years.

Her confirmation seems sure, and Trump will gloat over “owning” one-third of SCOTUS. I hope every dickless Republican who enables this rots in hell for eternity.

Now that I got that off my chest, let’s turn to James Comey. Last night he got another 15 minutes of fame being played by Jeff Daniels in the Showtime two-part series, The Comey Rule. Part 2 is tonight…

Last night was Comey agonizing over whether to go public about the investigations into Hillary’s emails — there were two, and neither produced a shred of evidence that her private server ever had negative repercussions on national security — to this day.

Meanwhile, Comey learned Trump’s cronies had gazillion contacts with Russians and opened an investigation into that before the election — but kept it secret.

Jeff Daniels has been making the interview rounds and saying Comey was “between a rock and a hard place” with Hillary. True. But he could have leveled the playing field A LOT by alerting voters to Trump’s Russian ties.

Comey, by treating Trump the mobster like he was a fellow Boy Scout and they both lived by an ironclad code of honor (as did Robert Mueller), Comey fucked the country, but good.

In turn, Comey got himself fucked by being fired on TV. Handing Trump the White House wasn’t enough to fill Trump’s bottomless pit of need.

And NOW The New York Times finally got its mitts on Trump’s tax returns. It’s just as you’d expect.

  • Trump claims many, many, many bogus expenses.
  • Trump’s businesses are mostly in the red.
  • Trump has paid few taxes or none at all for decades.
  • While in the White House, he’s made millions from foreign governments and others patronizing his businesses to get favors from the U.S. government.
  • He earns millions by forcing taxpayers to pay (at inflated rates) for his hundreds of visits to his own properties.
  • He’s only rich on paper; he lives like a leech.
  • He’s got huge debts coming due, and he can only hold off creditors by continuing to grift from the White House; otherwise, he’s toast.

Tomorrow, Trump debates Joe Biden. On Twitter, Trump’s been demanding Biden take a drug test, which can only mean Trump is pumped to the gills. We just don’t know whether he’ll snort Adderall and bounce off the walls, or if his doctors will sedate him into a semi-coma. We’ve been seeing more of that lately.

Either way, the bar is quite low for Biden. All he has to do is let Trump babble nonsense, respond in complete sentences, and laugh off Trump’s infantile taunts and he’ll look more presidential.

With each passing day that Republicans cling to a sinking Trump, stealing every advantage they can, while they can, they’re creating for themselves an even greater backlash at the polls as public disgust reaches a crescendo.

BONUS: The Washington Post named this monologue by comedian John Mulaney, “There’s a Horse in the Hospital,” one of the 10 best Trump take-downs…

Trump Knows His End is Near

September 24, 2020

By Karen

Yesterday, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was lying in repose on the Supreme Court’s steps when Bill and Hillary Clinton paid their respects by standing beside her coffin in full public view…

Not to be outdone by Hillary, today Trump and Melania ventured outside the White House fortress to skulk in the shadows behind the casket. When the mourners out front saw them, boos soon synced into a lusty chant of “Vote Him Out!”…

Unaccustomed to hearing people who aren’t prescreened (or paid) to sing his praises and hold fake signs at his staged rallies, it took a bit for the chant to register with Trump. As soon as it did, he disappeared back into his bubble, where sycophants dry his orange tears and tell him he’ll be president forever.

I fully blame the media for hyping this bullshit that Trump won’t leave when he loses the election.

Sure, Trump talks tough to his cult, or to reporters in the White House briefing room where he can insult and run before somebody punches him in the face.

But let’s get real. Apart from, “We’ll see what happens,” which Trump says about allowing a peaceful transition of power —  remember, this is his stock answer for EVERYTHING because he’s lost the ability of original thought — his every utterance reeks of sour loser grapes.

Trump knows he’s finished. He’s scared shitless of the MILLIONS of absentee paper ballots that will dominate this election because they’re irrefutable evidence of his loss.

What’s hilarious is that he caused them. If he hadn’t been so stupid, thinking he could get away with denying COVID, we’d be voting as usual.

According to Ballotpedia, only four states use computers exclusively and create NO paper trail: Delaware, Georgia, Louisiana and South Carolina. None of them are worth hacking because three may go to Trump anyway and Delaware’s small potatoes.

States using a combination of paper ballots and computers with no paper trail are: Florida, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Texas. Of that bunch, only Florida, Pennsylvania and Texas are worth Trump losing sleep over.

My absentee ballot was mailed to me on Friday, September 18, and I got it on Monday, September 21. I’ll hand-carry it either to a dropbox that supposed to be at a nearby library, or to the county registrar’s office.

The media should give no air time to Trump’s babbling about a rigged election, serving three or more terms, getting two extra years — just because, delaying the election or discarding mail-in ballots (which would also destroy the votes of Trump’s whole family).

What the media needs to emphasize is that Trump is a gutless bully who fears confrontation above all else. His fantasy is that the uneducated self-appointed militias with assault weapons he’s got prowling the streets will overpower the American armed forces (if it came to that) and give their lives to install him as a dictator. Talk about losers and suckers.

On Inauguration Day, I think Trump will be in Moscow, naively thinking Putin won’t push his now-useless orange ass out the nearest window. Trump may even expect to be lavishly rewarded for doing Putin’s bidding.

But if Trump dares to linger, he’ll sit in the White House alone. Ivanka and Melania won’t hang around for the shooting to start.

Then Biden will dispatch a few burly officers to the Oval Office, who will put a whining, whimpering Trump on a plane to New York, where he’ll immediately be taken into custody to answer for his financial crimes.

I hope his escorts wear body cameras so the world can watch Trump’s downfall.

Chapter 126: COVID Chronicles

September 21, 2020

By Tony

Day 194

My Photo Shoot Fail & Welcome to My Dream House!

Karen says I’m old enough to take responsibility for my actions, so I’ll tell you how it went with my big photo shoot last week. Not good.

Last Friday, a lady with a really nice camera came over to take my picture for the RAL 2021 Calendar. Unfortunately, nobody at the League told her what months any of the animals picked, so my month is still a mystery.

That morning, I knew something was going down because Karen was tidying up and dusting. When I heard the doorbell, to use Trump’s crude language, I’m embarrassed to confess that I “choked like a dog” and ran upstairs. Karen and the lady found me hiding under the desk, which mortified me so much, I dashed downstairs and burrowed in the back of Karen’s closet.

Meanwhile, Roc sauntered into the living room and sprawled across the floor like a centerfold, hoping he might be able to step in as my understudy and become a star, but no dice.

Karen tried to carry me out to the living room and got her arm accidentally scratched when I leaped down and lammed it back upstairs.

She and the photographer agreed that a photo of me looking terrified wouldn’t be good, so that was that. After the lady left and I calmed down, Karen got quite a few flattering shots of me and sent them to the photographer. We don’t know which one she’ll use, but here are a couple of them…

Then I started showing off and posed standing up. (That’s Roc in the bed we totally shunned all summer, but now it’s suddenly a hot ticket again.)…

Karen has mentioned I have a Dream House in the living room. It’s got two rooms (so far) and I spend a lot of time in it. Karen thinks it’s a dump and that I might have lived under a bridge as a kitten…

Last week during Hurricane Sally, Karen was drying out her Chihuly umbrella when I decided to add it to my house. Dale Chihuly is a glass artist who had a beautiful exhibition at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts several years ago, which is where Karen got the umbrella. The inside is a picture of his colorful bowls. I just had to taste it…

Now my house’s best features are my crinkly paper…

And my umbrella lanai…

PS: Max isn’t a photo op guy, either, but Karen caught him on the Man Cave Café sink the other day and he sends his regards…

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