Melania Trump, the Accidental Plagiarist

July 19, 2016

By Karen

No one could fault Melania Trump for watching Michelle Obama’s 2008 Democratic Convention speech and taking notes, since Melania also had to do an infomercial on her husband. But when she presented chunks of the exact same pitch, “people” (as Trump likes to say) want to know why, so her education is under scrutiny.

At 46 years old, Melania Trump has never had the national spotlight. Despite being a model who landed some TV gigs, she was just another pretty face until age 35, when Trump made her wife No. 3. He was about 59, so she popped out a son 14 months later to secure her future alimony. Since then, she’s been a typical trophy wife, dabbling in philanthropic causes and launching jewelry and skin care product lines because being arm candy is her schtick.

Her personal website and RNC bio claim she earned a degree in design and architecture from the University of Slovenia. Her Fox News bio says she attended the University of Ljubljana but doesn’t give a degree. Other unofficial bios say she dropped out after her freshman year to take up modeling in Milan.

Trump could put this whole matter to bed by producing Melania’s college diploma. Otherwise, payback may be hell. The press will dig for the truth like Trump tried to prove Obama’s not a U.S. citizen.

So, Melania may have shade in her background, but what’s a solid fact is that parts of her convention speech were plagiarized. You can watch the pertinent passages side by side.

Trump and his minions call the accusation “crazy,” saying Melania simply used common words and ideas.

Yeah. Using the same common (or uncommon) words in the exact order someone else used them is the definition of plagiarism. Changing a few words doesn’t make a thought yours; you need to give it a total rewrite.

Melania says she wrote the speech with “a little help.” “Little” is the operative word.

Trump’s lazy speechwriters probably Googled “first lady convention speeches” and transcribed the first thing that popped up.

Here’s a news flash, boys: If you can Google something, so can the rest of us. And finding something on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s free to take.

Bottom line: Melania Trump may be a relatively uneducated person, and she speaks English as a second language. She had no reason not to trust her husband’s flunkies and probably didn’t realize they gave her plagiarized material. I don’t believe she copied those words herself.

Trump’s contemptible denying and lying instead of admitting his team screwed up is yet another taste of what we could expect from him as president. He’s a typical politician.

Trump blames Hillary and Obama for everything bad that happens in the world, so let’s lay the blame squarely on him for standing on that stage and gloating while his wife parroted Michelle’s Obama’s beliefs. What was rich was that the Republican audience ate up every Democratic word of it.


Mike Pence is Probably Doomed

July 18, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump will never share the spotlight with any running mate, particularly one he hasn’t broken in as a doormat.

I’ve now seen Trump and his VP pick, Mike Pence, together twice, with Trump avoiding eye contact and behaving just short of dismissive. Pence will be walking on eggs, and no matter what he says or does, if Trump decides that telling Pence, “You’re fired!” will make Trump look more presidential to his followers, he’ll do it. And then claim the RNC “unfairly” stuck him with a low-energy loser of a VP.

I’m not shedding tears for Pence. He’s a typical backward-thinking, discriminatory misogynist who cloaks himself in religion, and now he’s volunteered to be the most pathetic second banana in American political history.

The best Pence can muster to say about Trump is, “He’s a good man,” and he repeats it like a mantra. I seriously doubt Pence’s religious faith recognizes incessant boasting, exaggeration, mockery, bullying, and lying as virtues.

I think we’re still looking at a Trump-Gingrich ticket by election day.

Meanwhile, Hillary’s team has been going great guns at turning Trump against himself.

After the Trump-Pence 60 Minutes interview, they must be giddy to get so much new fodder.

Trump says any disagreements with Pence occurred “a long time ago.” And after winning the nomination playing the outsider, Trump now says teaming with a career politician is good for “party unity.”

Since when did Trump EVER want party unity? His whole raison d’être has been to stomp the living shit out of the GOP.

Trump’s challenge now is to wring a drop of Pence-ibility out of all his positions. He’ll be making even less sense than Sarah Palin.

Pence must disavow most of his beliefs and dive into the deep end of Trump’s cesspool of negative campaigning. How long will Pence swallow his revulsion before he blows chunks all over Trump?

On 60 Minutes, Leslie Stahl asked Pence if he’d ever dare tell Trump he’d crossed a line, and Trump guffawed at the question, like, “Yeah, like THAT’S ever gonna happen!” Then Trump said he’d “listen” to Pence (not take his advice), but he’d never apologize to anyone for anything.

Pence brings nothing to the ticket but more mud. Now we’ve got two guys tap-dancing to make wildly divergent wacko notions mesh. Example: Pence tweeted that Trump’s ban on Muslim immigration is “offensive and unconstitutional,” so Trump’s now calling for “extreme vetting,” whatever that is.

How long and how much will Trump be willing to compromise? I’ll give him a month.

It’s a match made in hell. Let’s see how long those two can roast in it before someone spontaneously combusts.


We Need to Take Notes from Brexit

July 5, 2016

By Karen

Uninformed, nonthinking British voters’ bigotry was stoked by sleazy politicians. Next thing you know, they’ve tanked their economy, shredded their standing as a trusted, responsible ally, and sent worldwide stock markets into a tailspin.

That’s what happens when a country tries to make itself “great again” by being more unpredictable.

If Great Britain’s catastrophic Brexit from the European Union did nothing else, let it teach us some lessons before November so we don’t follow it down the crapper. We should learn…

A fact-challenged buffoon with a bad haircut isn’t your best source of information.

BorisJohnsonFormer London Mayor Boris Johnson (who could play “Dumb” to Trump’s “Dumber”) was a Brexit cheerleader, appealing to racism and selfishness. His personal agenda was apparently to oust current Prime Minister David Cameron (which he did) so he could have the job himself.

Google your homework BEFORE you vote.

When Brits woke up after their Brexit celebration, their money was worth less and their stock market in free-fall, with recession predicted to follow. THAT’S what made them Google, “What does it mean to leave the EU?” and “What is the EU?”

The answers made them start a petition for a do-over.

When the situation unravels, don’t expect the buffoon to clean up his mess.

Once Great Britain’s economy and trade deals were reduced to rubble and other EU members want to kick the UK out on its arrogant arse pronto, Boris Johnson decided he didn’t want the PM job after all. So, buh-bye to any promises he made to halt immigration, save jobs, and replace all that ails England with “something terrific.”

Our own carrot-faced loudmouth is on track to tank our economy and revive massive unemployment when the many nations he’s already alienated tell him to stick his “art of the deal” on trade renegotiations straight up his ass. And perhaps, just for fun, he’ll drag our southern border states into a pointless war with Mexico over paying for a stupid wall.

And what will he do? He’ll blame Congress for everything and quit, if he’s not impeached first. And so will the hapless schmuck who ends up being his VP.

Don’t expect your so-called friends to stick around, either.

Northern Ireland and Scotland voted to remain in the EU, but England and Wales dragged them out, so they may secede from the UK. Against France, Germany, and 25 other EU countries, a diminished UK will have all the clout of Rhode Island as a voice in Europe’s destiny.

Never underestimate the power of ignorance.

Trump is cultivating an unthinking, fully-armed militia to do his bidding with violence. We’ve already seen it at his rallies. For example, if he decrees that Hispanics or Muslims belong in internment camps so they can be watched (like Roosevelt did to Japanese Americans during WWII), he’d just have to say the word. His supporters would gleefully put on their bedsheets, grab the ammunition, and kill more than they capture in the name of patriotism.

Britain has cut its own throat and may never recover. If we don’t stop Trump, the AmerExit he’s planning could easily turn into a bloodbath.


New Blood Sport: Tag-Teaming Trump

June 20, 2016

By Karen

Donald Trump once boasted he could shoot someone and not lose any followers, but shooting off his own mouth has earned him some serious backlash. My new hobby is watching Trump get attacked on all sides.

For the Democrats, Elizabeth Warren, aka “Pocahontas” to Trump, leads the charge. In New Hampshire she called Trump a “thin-skinned, racist bully” and a “small, insecure money-grubber.” In DC, Warren labeled Trump a “loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud” and a “wannabe tyrant.” And she’s just warming up.

Obama criticized with a broad brush “politicians who tweet,” “yap” and have a “dangerous” mindset and “loose talk and sloppiness” when discussing terrorism.

Hillary is trying stay out the mud, but has warned,” Be afraid, be very afraid,” of Trump’s foreign policy ideas. And that electing Trump would be a “historic mistake.” His ideas “aren’t just different, they’re dangerously incoherent… bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies. He is not just unprepared, he’s is temperamentally unfit to hold an office that requires knowledge, stability and immense responsibility.”

Trump even managed to go too far with the NRA. After Trump lamented that the victims in the Orlando attack weren’t armed to take out the terrorist, the NRA now insists alcohol and firearms don’t mix (since when?) and that Trump’s opinion “defies common sense.”

By managing to sound nuttier than the NRA’s CEO, Wayne LaPierre, Trump has actually forced the NRA to grow up a little. It tweeted: “Our position is no guns for terrorists — period.”

Nice try, NRA, but too little, too late. Thanks to you, assault weapons are everywhere, readily available, and the preferred tool of homegrown terrorists.

Even some GOP convention delegates are on an “Anybody but Trump” drive, pushing for a “conscience clause” so they won’t have to vote for Trump.

Meanwhile, Paul Ryan and other GOP leadership meekly let Trump tell them to “be quiet” so he can win the election on his own. Their acquiescence in letting that maniac try to take over the country amounts to treason.

I predict that Trump will go down. Maybe not at the convention, but surely after he debates Hillary. She’ll coolly cut him to shreds with facts and policies that make sense, and the touchy orange buffoon will respond with more empty, hyperbolic boasting and personal insults, like an ape hurling verbal feces. It’s Trump’s schtick, and that’s all he’s got.


Trump Exploits Orlando Massacre for Political Points

June 13, 2016

By Karen

Unfortunately, it’s taken the worst mass shooting yet, 49 victims dead, 53 wounded in Orlando, to show us how Trump as president would respond to a crisis.

First, he took to Twitter to bask in congratulations for “being right” about Muslims, whom he wants to ban from entering the country. For those already here, it was remarkable that he didn’t float the idea of death camps.

Then he demanded that Obama resign for refusing to call the Orlando LGBT massacre “radical Islamic terrorism,” and even suggested that Obama was somehow in on it, or condoned it.

This morning on CBS This Morning, without actually using the word (the sin he so quickly pins on everyone else), Trump essentially called for establishment of an American Gestapo — “intelligence-gathering like never before.” (If you click this link, keep listening after Trump to hear Hillary’s response. Quite a contrast.)

And then on CNN he blamed the victims themselves, claiming they could have avoided being killed had they been armed. As if that’s ever saved anybody in any previous massacre.

Basically, Trump compiled every stupid conservative comeback to a mass shooting to create his own personal “greatest hits” mix of ignorant platitudes.

By hanging on his every eruption of verbal vomit, the media has enabled Trump to eclipse this tragedy and make it all about himself.

Shame on the media. If ever there was a time to pull the plug on a dangerous maniac, this is it. And I’m not talking about the shooter.

Trump is calling for even more guns and predicting more and worse violence. He’s doing everything but issue engraved invitations to the gun-loving bottom-feeders who worship him to kick the carnage up a notch — by implying it’s open season on anyone who might look like a terrorist.

Congress must admit that NOBODY outside the military needs to own an AK-anything and start taking steps to eliminate them. The Second Amendment doesn’t guarantee anyone’s right to bear assault weapons. Enough’s enough.


A Cat Interviews Exaggerator

June 10, 2016

By Adele

No, the Exaggerator isn’t Donald Trump. He’s my 2016 favorite horse. I managed to pull strings for some cat-on-horse time before his last and longest Triple Crown race, the Belmont Stakes on June 11 (NBC, 5-7 p.m. ET).

In case you’re tuning in late, Exaggerator ran second to Nyquist in the Kentucky Derby, but then handed Nyquist his first-ever defeat in the Preakness.

We Skyped while the Ex Man rested up before the big day. (Shhh! Don’t tell Karen I stole her iPad!)

Adele: Are you bummed Nyquist won’t be racing? Everybody was hoping one of you would pull off two out of three Triple Crown wins.

Exaggerator: Yeah, that would have been a crowd-pleaser. But Nyquist ran a fever after the Preakness, so I’m glad his peeps showed some horse sense and let him rest.

But if Nyquist had run again and I won, I’d be remembered as “The Horse Who Missed the Triple Crown by 1 ½ Lengths.” That would have pissed me off, so I guess it’s all for the best.

Adele: After the Preakness, I heard your dad Curlin was handing out cigars at Hill ‘n’ Dale between his stud appointments. He called you a “chip off the old hoof.” After you ate Nyquist’s dust in four previous races, he’s proud you finally gave Nyquist a taste of your tail.

Ex: OK, I’ll admit, that felt great. Dad’s my inspiration, and filling his shoes ain’t easy. He was 2007 Horse of the Year, you know.

On the other hand, I did outrun him in the Derby because he came in 3rd. We both won the Preakness. He lost the Belmont by a head to a filly named Rags to Riches. If I end up losing, at least it won’t be to a girl.

Adele: Just watch out for Cherry Wine. He almost smelled victory in the Preakness, and he’s trying again at Belmont. Do you have a strategy?

Ex: Horses don’t do strategy. We leave that sneaky stuff to the jockeys. “Hug the rail or go wide? Hang back or set the pace? Whip or no whip?”

All we want to do is cross the finish line in one piece and get those little maniacs off our backs. You never see horses take racing too seriously. We don’t cry foul if we don’t come in first, or pick a fight with some horse who bumped us. Team mentality is for sled dogs and Clydesdales. We thoroughbreds just want to do our own thing, which is to run like the wind.

Adele: Cats aren’t into teams either, but Max, Roc, and I squabble just about every day. If I had hooves like yours, they’d both be dead.

Ex: You’re pretty tough for a fluffy white kitty. Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Adele: Just don’t step on my tail and you’ll be fine. You’re running again against two other horses I liked, Suddenbreakingnews from the Derby and Stradivari from the Preakness. If they were to place and show right behind you across that finish line, it would be my personal trifecta.

Ex: Thanks, Adele. I’m happy in post position 11, and they say I’m the favorite, so I’ll run this one for my feline fans. Keep your claws crossed!


The GOP Has Trumped Itself

June 8, 2016

By Karen

Paul Ryan abandoned integrity and decency when he caved to Donald Trump’s candidacy, losing the right to denounce any new outrage that comes out of Trump’s mouth. Trump has been vile since the very beginning, yet Republicans endorsed him anyway. What leverage do they have now to change him? None.

If Ryan, McConnell & Co. are willing to seize control of the White House using a nut job who hides his baldness under a ginger ferret and wears the rust from his own mental disintegration on his face, they will sink the GOP beyond redemption.

Under a President Trump, we might see mass deportations and internment camps (à la the Japanese during World War II) for anybody he finds offensive — Hispanics, blacks, Muslims, women, journalists, judges, fellow Republicans who oppose him. The world will be forced to live under the threat of nuclear war because he thinks the U.S. needs to lead by being more unpredictable.

Our legislative and judicial branches of government will have to devote themselves to keeping Trump from destroying the world. They’ll recall their years of relentless Obama obstructionism as the Gentle Times. Trump will use the presidency only to stroke his ego, while his supporters and the rest of us watch the country fall apart from his neglect.

It’s astounding that anybody can listen to Trump for five minutes and not see a tyrant in the making. No other presidential candidate in history has ever campaigned on a constant barrage of taunts and threats against everyone who crosses his field of vision.

I believe we’re seeing a man who stands on the brink of full-fledged dementia, and his staffers are keeping silent out of sheer terror. But if he loses, the truth will come out before Hillary’s inauguration.

Trump is the worst sort of mentally unstable, narcissistic opportunist, appealing to the worst in those he maniacally thinks will constitute a majority he can exploit. His followers are desperate for a messiah; they’re not picky about who it is. Every time Trump pulls off another unspeakable, hateful diatribe without facing any real consequences, they’re more convinced he’s larger than life. And if they help him get what he wants, he’ll eat their souls for breakfast and pick his teeth with their bones.

Trump is a wannabe despot who aspires to degrade, deport, torture, and nuke as many people as he can in his impossible quest to satisfy his insatiable insecurity. Behind all his bluster, he’s the ultimate no-class loser.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to make America great again. He wants to make America, and the world, his bitch — just to prove to himself that he’s man enough to do it.


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