Washington Goes Limp on Assault Weapons

By Cole

Obama and Boehner have agreed not to push for new gun control legislation in the wake of the Aurora, Colorado, massacre “allegedly” carried out by that Bozo-headed whack-job, James Holmes.

How many more innocent people must be mowed down to get Washington’s attention? Our elected officials all seem to share a smug certainty that no AK-47-wielding maniac who’s had enough of their self-serving bullshit will ever confront them.

It would appear that gun lobby contributions mean more to them than the safety and lives of the entire American population.

True to form, conservatives howl, “If you outlaw assault weapons again, you trample our FREEDOM!”

Freedom to do what? Murder in multiples? Anybody who thinks this is a defensible argument needs to be stood up against a wall and shot. Hey, live by the gun, die by the gun.

Other conservatives say the problem is that people don’t own ENOUGH guns.

Dudley Brown, executive director of the gun advocacy group Rocky Mountain Gun Owners, said, “If I only had 6,000 rounds for my AR-15s [like Holmes did], I’d literally feel naked.” And assessing Holmes’ stash, he said, “Two handguns, a shotgun and a rifle. That’s the average male in Colorado.”

So why wasn’t some “average male” packing heat in that theater and take down Holmes, or at least wound his firing arm? We haven’t heard from one armed moviegoer that night who regrets not wasting that punk and saving lives.

There’s a reason. Amidst chaos, it would take an extraordinary, highly-trained marksman with steely presence of mind to actually shoot the perp, rather than hit the screaming victims running around.

In most situations, I imagine it would be impossible.

As always, a glaring fact conservatives refuse to face is that “freedom” to buy weapons also applies to crazy people. According to them, nuts need more rights, but society doesn’t deserve the right not to arm insane killers.

Obama and Boehner need to grow a pair and reinstate the ban on assault weapons, and let the NRA be damned.

For the guns that are left, screw background checks. Before anybody can buy a gun, there should be a minimum 100 hours of mandatory firearms training, with psychiatric evaluation. And if the person fails to pass both parts with flying colors, no gun.

This would go far in weeding out other delusional limp-dicks, inspired by Cho, Loughner, and Holmes, who think godhood is theirs with the flick of a trigger finger, and put guns in the hands of people who know how to use them — for the right reasons.

Limbaugh Saves Face by Betraying Listeners

By Adele

Attention, dittoheads: Rush says he only wants to entertain you! His attack talk? It’s comedy. The guy’s just trying to be funny!

After 5 sponsors began pulling ads from his radio show, the great El Rushbo went all Limpaw and started back-tracking after calling women “feminazis” and Sandra Fluke in particular a “slut,” a “prostitute,” “round-heeled,” and “promiscuous.”

Fluke’s unpardonable sin was to testify in favor of affordable contraception before Nancy Pelosi and other members of Congress. Rush tried to inflame his listeners by falsely claiming that Fluke wants the government to pay her to have sex, and demanded she post videos of her sex life online to give taxpayers something for their money.

With prodding, Republican House Speaker John Boehner finally mumbled that Rush had been “inappropriate.” The White House called Rush’s words “reprehensible.”

Rush’s response was to pile it on thicker.

After Obama phoned Fluke in support, saying her parents should be proud she’d spoken out, Rush said Fluke’s parents should be “embarrassed” that their daughter is having so much sex, and should “disconnect their phone” and “go into hiding.”

But as always, when conservative men with rock-solid moral superiority see the money slipping away (sponsors Sleep Number, The Sleep Train, Quicken Loans, Legal Zoom, and Citrix started pulling ads, and others are considering it) Rush issued a hubris-laden apology to Fluke — and utterly dismissed the malicious, incendiary intent of his broadcasts that his listeners LOVE (bold mine)…

“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week.”

“My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.”

“Illustrating the absurd with absurdity” is what Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Cats Working do. It’s called “satire.” When Rush’s worshippers are hanging on his every word and quoting him, I don’t believe they realize he’s doing schtick.

According to Rush, he isn’t their spokesman. He admits he’ll say anything for the money. Yank the money, he crumbles.

I just hope Rush has really done it this time — sealed the deal for Republicans to lose the female vote. The best way to punish Rush’s mouth is to keep Obama in the White House.

Eric Cantor Needs to GO

By Adele

Despite polls that resoundingly reflect Americans’ disgust with intractable brats in Congress, Virginia’s Eric Cantor can’t bring himself to grow up, and he’s trying to rally the other bullies.

Today’s Richmond Times-Dispatch’s front page ran excerpts from a memo Cantor just sent to House Republicans…

Over the next several months, there will be tremendous pressure on Congress to prove that (the Standard & Poor’s) analysis of the inability of the political parties to bridge our differences is wrong.

In plain English…

Keep fighting. Let’s shut the government down unless the Dems lay off our bread and butter, the rich and big business. Don’t give an inch. Never cooperate. Make Obama regret he was ever born.

If John Boehner was worth his weight in self-tanner, he’d take Cantor out behind the woodshed and give him what-for, then jerk a knot in Cantor’s leash and muzzle him.

Cantor and those impressionable reps who dance to the Tea Party’s tune may not know it, but to plot the downfall of your own government is to flirt with treason.

Cantor probably sees it as heroically seizing the moment, showing what a strong, tough leader he can be. He probably already has “PC” (“President Cantor”) embroidered on his towels.

But “Just Say No” is a suicidal strategy when it comes to the potential collapse of our economy. Shooting down everything the Democrats suggest and offering no viable alternatives but cutting programs that actually help people isn’t leadership. It’s insane.

Eric, when S&P downgraded the country’s credit rating, they were looking straight at YOU.

Cantor’s been playing both ends against the middle for years. He keeps his cushy congressional seat by pretending to be “for the little people,” then stabbing them in the back to serve special interests.

Virginia voters need to bounce the weasel out of Congress or they’ll deserve every smarmy, lie-filled “Cantor for President” ad they get in 2016.

Cantor Stomps Obama’s Last Nerve

By Yul

It was a sweet moment when John Boehner put his arm around House Majority Leader Eric Cantor and reassured everyone he doesn’t think Cantor’s an asshole. But “Boner” is in a dwindling minority.

Cantor is MY Congressman, and if cats could vote, he wouldn’t be elected dog-catcher. His insatiable need to top his own douchebaggery knows no limits.

Cantor looks like the creepy kid everybody either ignored or bullied in school. He probably entered politics just for spite, and fell into a tub of butter when the Republicans regained Congress in the mid-terms and made him House Nerd Majority Leader, with endless opportunities to diss the president.

Who can forget the time Cantor met with Obama on healthcare and showed up lugging the 2,000+-page bill as a prop to piss Obama off?

Or during the initial debt ceiling meetings with Biden, when Cantor flounced out with his tail in a fluff?

Cantor misses no Obama-baiting opportunity to show his solidarity with Virginia’s 7^th District closet bigots who have kept Cantor in Congress since 2001.

Just this week, when Obama headed the latest debt ceiling meetings, Cantor allegedly interrupted Obama 3 times, repeatedly suggesting a short-term fix. Obama finally smacked Cantor down, warning, “Don’t call my bluff.” Cantor later claimed Obama “stormed” out of the meeting in a hissy fit.

No, Eric. That’s what they have you for.

These talks themselves are ridiculous. A bunch of suits throwing around trillions as if they really know how much money that is. Making grand 10-year projections they won’t be around to carry out.

And it came as no surprise to learn that Cantor is betting AGAINST the government that furnishes his livelihood and healthcare. He invests in ProShares Trust Ultrashort 20+ Year Treasury EFT, which is projected to skyrocket if the U.S. financial situation tanks.

It’s maddening that gullible voters can be snowed by Republicans who scream, “No tax increases…!” without listening to the whole sentence, which is, “No tax increases for the WEALTHY and BIG CORPORATIONS!”

Meanwhile, Obama, the Great Compromiser, is prepared to throw 60-somethings under the bus AGAIN to appease those greedy SOBs. He’s offered to raise eligibility for Medicare to 67. Why not? Obama tossed near-retirees like bloody chum to insurance industry sharks, lettng them be ripped to shreds on premiums until 2014, before any meaningful healthcare reform kicks in.

The further into poverty with no safety net Cantor and other avaricious Republicans can shove the poor and middle class in any way, while claiming to be saviors, the bolder they become.

When are voters going to wake up and stop the madness?