Diss Cats at Your Own Risk

July 8, 2008

By Adele

Cats hate being laughed at, and some humans are teetering between humor and disrespect. It’s only fair to warn you that we’ve noticed, we’re not amused, and we have friends who spray.

Take Kitty Wigs – please. They’re on no cat’s wish list, except maybe hairless Sphynxes with self-esteem issues.

If you find yourself wearing one of these synthetic abominations, hurl a hairball on the carpet. In the seconds it takes your human to fetch paper towels, rip the wig to shreds.

Another site called Stuff on My Cat is almost too silly to be offensive. Humans pile things like cell phones and socks on cats and photograph their handiwork. How lame is that?

Cats That Look Like Hitler is photos of cats who, by birth – or someone’s “accidental” use of a Sharpie – have facial markings like Der Fürher. They’re called “Kitlers” and we don’t approve because Hitler was a dog person.

No non-black cat is safe from becoming this site’s next victim.

A sweet white cat (like me) at Cat Town is forced to wear many hats – literally – to portray at least 7 characters in a kitty soap opera with really bad scripts. That cat deserves Equity wages x 7 plus a lifetime membership in SAG.

Cat Town also has a character named El Guapo who looks like Hitler. Whether it’s natural or by Sharpie is anybody’s guess.

One site gets my Cats Working stamp of approval. It’s the Popovich Comedy Pet Theater. This guy rescues cats, helps them perfect one trick of their choosing, then puts them in his show. Except for occasional embarrassing collars, he treats the cats with dignity and respect, and the cats show the world what we’re capable of.

On the other hand, maybe we’d better keep that our secret…


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