Goalie Penalized for Kindness to Cat

By Cole

Being a sports-loving cat can can get you in trouble in Croatia. When a stray cat wandered onto the field of a soccer match (they call it “football”) in Sebenik, the goalie for the visiting Medjimurje Cakovec team, Ivan Banovic, carried it to safety and put it through the fence under the scoreboard.

Then the referee penalized Banovic with a “yellow card” for leaving the field without permission.

I’m wondering what the stupid referee expected the players to do with a cat on the field. Trample it to death, kick it for a goal, or hit it with the soccer ball?

Even though Banovic’s team lost 0-1 to Sebenik, fans cheered for him the rest of the game to register their approval of his kitty kindness.

Maybe some soccer fan can tell me what a yellow card is. Does soccer have different colored cards for different penalties? Do players collect the cards and trade them? Do their uniforms have special pockets to hold the cards while they’re playing?

Instead of throwing flags, just imagine American football referees — I mean real football, with the flattened-out ball that bounces funny — handing out cards to naughty players.

Not to miss a chance for product placement, Hallmark could provide the cards, inscribed with poignant verses reminding players of their neglected mothers and moving them to tears, causing even more time-outs and extending already-interminable games into all-day events.

Referees’ flags would become hankies for weeping tight ends, and teary commiserations would be shared during huddles, which would be renamed “support groups.”

Somehow, I think cards would take all the fun out of the chasing and tackling, although all the male bonding would probably cause a marked increase in butt-fondling.

Zenyatta Beats the Equine Rodney Dangerfield

By Adele

Since winning the Kentucky Derby as a 50-1 long shot, Mine That Bird hasn’t caught a break. Having Zenyatta sail past him in the $5 million Breeders’ Cup Classic yesterday with another one of his jockeys on her back must have been the icing on the cake.

Zenyatta is No. 4 in yellow (Photo - Jae C. Hong/AP, NY Times)

Zenyatta, running on her home track at Santa Anita, was racing against boys for the first time — some of the best male horses in the world, including Mine and his brother, Belmont winner Summer Bird.

It was the longest race (1 ¼ miles) Zenyatta’s ever run, too. Her jockey was Mike Smith, who rode Mine in the Preakness when his Derby jockey, Calvin Borel, abandoned him to ride Rachel Alexandra, who beat him and crushed his Triple Crown dreams.

Walking to the gate, Mine was a dignified pro, but Zenyatta was, as usual, prancing and pawing for the crowd. Then she turned diva when they tried to load her.

But that was nothing compared to the fit Quality Road threw. He refused to be loaded, so they blindfolded him, which only made him madder. He scratched his legs bucking, so they scratched him from the race.

The scene rattled everybody, so the horses were all backed out, dismounted, and reloaded. The change in routine seemed to throw Zenyatta, and she was slow out of the gate, trailing the field with Mine, who probably experienced dreadful déjà vu when he saw his jockey riding Zenyatta.

With every other horse in front of her, Zenyatta regained her sense of purpose and flew in the final stretch to pass the lead horse, Gio Ponti, and win the race. The first female to win in its 26-year history. Her 14^th straight victory, keeping her undefeated.

Summer Bird came in 4^th. Mine That Bird came in 9^th.

Watch the race.

Maybe Mine never intended to win, but to show Calvin Borel what happens to fair-weather jockeys.

They’re saying Zenyatta will probably retire. She’ll never race Rachel Alexandra, who skipped the Breeders’. But that’s probably for the best. One of them would have to lose.

They’re also saying Zenyatta deserves to be Horse of the Year. I don’t go that far. Rachel beat the boys 3 times this year to Zenyatta’s one. If anything, they should share the honor.

U.S. Gets an Olympic Smack-Down

By Yul

I wasn’t surprised that Chicago wasn’t picked to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. What did surprise me was that we got eliminated first. We never even had a chance. So much for our so-called superpower.

The Obamas tacked another cool million onto the deficit to fly to Copenhagen on a fool’s errand. On the bright side, by failing to wow the IOC, they spared the country from wasting billions on pointless sports when there’s real life-and-death stuff going on where the money would be better spent — like healthcare, disaster relief, and education.

The people of Chicago themselves were ambivalent about it. They saw nothing but construction and congestion for the next six years. And for what? To impress a bunch of pharmaceutically engineered athletes of unidentifiable gender?

The U.S. has also been spared the embarrassment of hosting what would probably be the most poorly attended Olympics in history, particularly if Obama gets the boot in 2012. If they’ve been watching American news lately, people in other countries should be afraid — very afraid — to come here for any reason.

The United States is being not-so-slowly overrun by pasty-faced, screaming, gun-toting zombies who hate everyone but their own kind and who will share nothing.

It’s Obama’s misfortune that the U.S. is making itself the last place on earth anyone would feel safe holding any international event. He gave it his best shot, but he didn’t lose the Olympics. The American people did.

Rachel Alexandra Beats the Boys AGAIN

By Adele

Nine wins in a row. On September 5, Rachel Alexandra outran 7 older and stronger male horses to take the $750,000 Woodward Stakes at Saratoga in New York. The 2008 Belmont Stakes winner, Da’Tara, challenged Rachel right out of the gate, but she never let him get by her. Watch her in action.

So let’s see…

This summer, she beat 2009 Kentucky Bird winner Mine That Bird by winning the second Triple Crown race, the Preakness, herself. Then beat Summer Bird in the Haskell. He was the 2009 winner of the third Triple Crown race, the Belmont. By default, that makes Rachel the unofficial Triple Crown queen.

In the Woodward, Macho Again made a mad dash in the final stretch and almost overtook Rachel, but jockey Calvin Borel helped her beat Macho back and she won by a head and made history. No filly has ever won the Woodward in 56 years.

Rachel was a huge crowd favorite, and their screaming before the race spooked her while she was walking to the gate. Borel jumped off her back to calm her down. Ordinarily, such an incident would not bode well, but Rachel regained her composure and did what she does best — win.

Now they’re saying she’s a shoo-in for Horse of the Year unless her nemesis, the unbeaten 5-year-old mare, Zenyatta, does something freakishly daring on the West Coast. Or Rachel and Zenyatta could have a showdown in the Beldame later this year.

Rachel granted an interview to TimesUnion.com and came off as a bit of a diva, but I’m hoping to score her first interview with a cat before the racing season is over.

Fabulous Filly Beats the Boys Again

By Adele

If there’s one thing a cat respects, it’s speed. On August 2, Rachel Alexandra outran the Belmont Stakes winner, Summer Bird, in the $1.25 million Haskell Invitational at Monmouth Park.

Calvin Borel's along for the ride. (Photo - Denver for News)

Let’s see… Mine that Bird won the Kentucky Derby, which Rachel didn’t enter. Then Rachel beat Mine in the Preakness.

Summer Bird won the Belmont, which Rachel didn’t enter. Then Rachel beat Summer in the Haskell — by 6 lengths.

So she’s outclassed the other two Triple Crown race winners and won the Preakness herself. I think by default that makes Rachel Alexandra the unofficial Triple Crown queen.

The Haskell was Rachel’s 8^th win in a row, and her second victory over boys. The track was mud soup, but Rachel ran it in 1:47:21, just a hair below the Haskell record.

Racing against other fillies, Rachel has won by as much as 20 ¼ lengths. And when she won the Mother Goose Stakes by 19 ¼ lengths, she broke the record set by Ruffian.

So what’s next for the phenomenal filly? Rachel won’t be racing against the only other female in her league, 5-year-old Zenyatta, in the Breeder’s Cup at Santa Anita in November because Rachel’s never done artificial turf. But she may turn up to ruin the boys’ day again at the Woodward Stakes at Saratoga on September 5.

I can hardly wait.

Cats Had Best Virginia Derby Seats

By Karen

Adele was right about watching the Virginia Derby on TV. As things turned out, I watched most of the race on TV myself, and I was at the track.

Interstate 64 was gridlocked much of the way to Colonial Downs, a drive that should have taken about 45 minutes but lasted 2 ¼ hours. The only obstacle seemed to be one state trooper car with flashing lights sitting beside this sign:

Virginia Derby

Use Caution

Expect Delays

Thoughtfully placed at the END of the bottleneck. After that, clear sailing, but my parents and I missed the first 5 races.

Then our reserved tickets were screwed up, so we got a complimentary bump “up” to the Jockey Club, which meant air-conditioned comfort and TVs everywhere, but no seat outside close to the action. We slipped outdoors for one race, but got caught inadvertently stealing somebody’s seats, so we slunk back indoors.

Jockey Julien Leparoux (who rode Fred’s favorite, General Quarters, in the Kentucky Derby) was on fire in Virginia. We watched him win 3 races in a row before Kent Desormeaux and Edgar Prado started riding to give him some competition.

Then Desormeaux seized the spotlight, winning 2 stakes races in a row. I felt very confident he’d ride Adele’s pick, Hold Me Back, to victory in the Virginia Derby. So did the crowd, because Hold Me Back became the favorite.

Adele was right about Straight Story’s Derby performance. He held the lead until Battle of Hastings came up from behind in the final paces and beat Straight by a nose — again.

Battle of Hastings beat Straight Story by a cat's whisker. (Photo - Joe Mahoney, Richmond Times-Dispatch)

Hold Me Back came in a disappointing fifth.

Leaving Colonial Downs was painless in spite of the crowd, but the track needs to fix that sign saying, “Richmond, Center Lane.” It sends cars directly into a subdivision. We took Route 60 for half the trip home and hit no traffic.

So now I’ve visited Colonial Downs twice, getting trapped on I-64 both times. Being track-side is nice, but unless you watch the TV monitors instead of the horses themselves, you can never see all the exciting “jockeying” for position that goes on during the race. Just watching the horses streak across the finish line through a window is the pits.

The cats and I will be watching the next big race together.

Nicanor Scratched from the Virginia Derby

By Adele

It’s a black day here at Cats Working. Nicanor, Barbaro’s younger brother and our favorite to win the Virginia Derby at Colonial Downs, has been scratched.

Nic pulled something in his left hind leg 2 days ago while training.

We know trainer Michael Matz will take the best care of Nicanor because he’ll have to answer to a grassroots group called the Friends of Barbaro (FOB) who are closely following Nic’s every move. Many of them were driving to Virginia from other states today to see Nic run his first stakes race.

Karen is still going to the Derby and leaving the TV on for us. Our new pick is Hold Me Back, who ran 12^th in the Kentucky Derby. His jockey again is Kent Desormeaux, who rode Big Brown in every race for the Triple Crown.

FYI, Brownie’s former trainer, Rick Dutrow, dubbed “Ricky the Needle” by Big Brown himself in an exclusive interview with Fred after the Belmont, is currently under a 30-day suspension for… yup, you guessed it… giving some horse the wrong stuff.

Barbaro’s Brother is Coming to Town

By Adele

On July 18, Barbaro’s younger brother, Nicanor, is running in the $750,000 Virginia Derby — AND KAREN’S GOING TO SEE HIM!

Nicanor, are you our next hero? (Photo - Yetta Feltner)

Colonial Downs discriminates by prohibiting cats from attending races, and Cats Working briefly considered staging a poop-in all over the front lawn. But the race will be shown on TVG, the horse racing channel, and Karen promised to leave the TV on for us, so we can’t complain because we’ll probably see the race better than she will.

Nicanor’s odds are 7-2 in a 10-horse field, and considered the wild card who could beat the favorite, a British horse named Battle of Hastings, who won the Colonial Turf Cup at the Downs earlier this year.

Another horse in the race, Straight Story, lost the Turf Cup by just a head to Battle of Hastings, so he may be out for revenge and make things really interesting.

Nicanor ran his first race on dirt in January and it wasn’t good. He came in 10th and hurt a hoof. But then he came in second in his next 2 dirt races.

On May 13, trainer Michael Matz switched Nic to turf and he took off, winning by 15 ¼ lengths at Delaware Park, the same track where Barbaro first proved he was a champion.

Then Nic did it again on June 17 on another turf track.

So he’s coming to Colonial Downs’ turf on a winning streak. His jockey is Jose Lezcano, and they’ll be racing against Barbaro’s jockey, Edgar Prado, now on Take the Points, and and Big Brown’s jockey, Kent Desormeaux, now on Hold Me Back.

Just FYI, Barbaro has other full brothers besides Nicanor. Lentenor is now 2 years old. There’s a new foal, and mother La Ville Rouge is pregnant again by their father, Dynaformer.

Mine That Bird’s Got Jock(ey) Itch

By Adele

Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird has been unwittingly snared in two horsey love triangles. I caught him by phone at Churchill Downs, where he’s been stabled since placing third in the Belmont. His Triple Crown hopes had been dashed in the Preakness when his jockey, Calvin Borel, ditched him to ride Rachel Alexandra to a narrow victory.

Adele: Thanks for talking to me, Mine. Congratulations on the Derby. Sorry about the other 2 races, though. The Preakness was a squeaker, but what happened at Belmont when you had Borel back? Did you throw that race to spite him, as some (me) have speculated?

Mine: Adele, since betting’s involved, I have no comment, but let us say that we horses think little of jockeys who play us to win a Triple Crown for themselves. It’s supposed to be a horse honor.

A: That brings up your latest dilemma. Calvin Borel rode Rachel last Saturday to win the Mother Goose Stakes, and now he’s been dropped as your jockey in future races because he won’t commit to you through the Breeders’ Cup in November.

M: Me and Borel made a good team while it lasted, but the race is won by the horse, not the jockey. That guy let his head get turned by a fast filly. As far as I’m concerned, he can have her.

A: And now they’re trying to get Mike Smith, your jockey in the Preakness, to commit, but he’s hedging because he wants to ride Zenyatta, the mare he rode to win the Vanity Handicap last Saturday.

M: Zenyatta’s a freak with a thing for fat jockeys. She lets Smith pig out between races and still wins. Personally, I hope they find me a Munchkin jockey. They stay light without all the heaving.

A: I understand you’re running in the West Virginia Derby on August 1, at Saratoga on August 29, and maybe one more before the Breeders’ Cup at Santa Anita on November 7. That’s a pretty heavy schedule.

M: Hey, that’s what I do, baby. Horses run.

A: Rachel Alexandra’s owners are saying she probably won’t run in the Breeders’ Cup because it’s artificial turf.

M: That’s their call. Me, I got no problem. That’s what hooves are for. But I’ll tell ya, win or lose, any race without Borel and that filly is a good race for me.

A: Good luck with your next jockey, Mine, whoever he is.

M: Don’t worry, Adele. Loyal fans like you, I don’t want to disappoint. No matter who’s on my back, I promise I’ll give it my best shot.

Horse Racing Hijacked by 2 Female Phenoms

By Adele

Rachel Alexandra, the freakish filly who won the Preakness, robbing Mine That Bird of his jockey and his shot at the Triple Crown, has done it again. On June 27 at Belmont in New York, she became the first filly ever to win her next race after beating boys, and broke 2 other records.

Rachel ran in the Mother Goose Stakes against only 2 other fillies for 1 1/8 mile, but her 1:46:33 time set a new stakes record. Rachel could have blown through Secretariat’s slightly faster record at Belmont, but since she was ahead by more than 19 lengths, jockey Calvin Borel let her ease up in the final stretch.

While racking up her 7^th consecutive win, Rachel also beat Ruffian’s 13 ½-length margin of victory from 1975. But this was all in a day’s racing for Rachel.

In California, the amazing Zenyatta wiped the track at Hollywood Park with her 5 female competitors in the Vanity Handicap. Carrying Mike Smith at 129 pounds, which was 13-16 more pounds than the other horses (the “handicap”) and the heaviest weight of her career, the 5-year-old mare came from last on the 1 1/8 mile synthetic course to win by 2 ½ lengths for a time of 1:48:15.

Mike Smith and Zenyatta (Benoit Photo - LA Times)

Zenyatta is unbeaten, and this was her 11^th consecutive win.

The buzz now is all about when these two superstars will match up, but nobody knows. Zenyatta’s only left California once for a race, and Rachel’s owner isn’t eager to have her run on synthetic turf on the West Coast.

I’m kind of hoping the girls never meet. Otherwise, one of them will have to lose.