Time to End the Schmooze of the Union

By Cole

Last night, Obama delivered his latest laundry list of the same old problems that need fixing yet never get fixed — education, jobs, war, poverty, immigration, equal rights.

Why do we perpetuate this preposterous gathering of pompous phonies? At the very least, coverage should begin after the nauseating glad-handing and air-kissing, as all those well-dressed crooks pretend they haven’t seen each other in years.

As usual, Eric Cantor entered right behind Obama, like Woody Allen’s Zelig. When future historians study all the major events of our time, they’ll see Cantor, with his perpetually curled lip, hovering behind the real center of attention. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

They should also ban the practice of clapping every 5 freaking words. It’s stomach-turning to watch them applaud, oblivious to their own shameful failure to DO whatever they’re clapping about and move the country forward.

If I had a nickel for every time a politician has talked about ending incentives for businesses to outsource and lowering their taxes, and then doing nothing, I could buy Purina — the company.

As always, Obama’s speech was another spin on “Yes we can,” when we all know by now that no, he can’t.

Republicans were the most interesting part, particularly John “You Can Never Be Too Orange” Boehner. He sat behind Obama, looking painfully constipated, withholding his applause when Obama mentioned extending unemployment benefits.

Screw you, lazy bums.

When Obama brought up “equal pay and opportunity for women,” Biden jumped to his feet for a standing O, while Boehner stayed seated.

Screw you, too, ladies.

When Obama said, “No one who works full-time should ever raise a family in poverty.” Boehner gave a few limp claps. Why should he agree? Boehner’s doing great in DC and has plenty of time for golf.

When Obama said that the ACA makes pre-existing conditions irrelevant and ends women being overcharged, Boehner and many Republicans kept their hands in their pants laps. So Obama told them to come up with something better and stop wasting time on 40 repeal attempts.

Obama sprinkled his speech with stories of “little people” he had planted in the audience, and saved the “best” for last, about a disfigured man sitting in the balcony next to Michelle. No doubt the man’s struggle has been heroic, but hearing about it from Obama made it sound contrived.

I want to support a fellow black cat, but Obama’s soaring rhetoric feels empty now. He got in to the White House on the promise of change, but the resentment and racism has been so ferocious that his opponents would rather see the country die than agree with him on anything.

Obama said he’s going to go it alone and do what he can with executive orders if Congress won’t cooperate. That had Rand Paul on CBS This Morning today whining about Obama’s lack of “conciliatory tone” and the loss of “checks and balances.”

The CBS team did a good job tag-teaming him on his baloney. In defending his recent dredging up of Clinton-Lewinsky, he said, “People don’t like hypocrisy.”

Gee, Rand, ya think?

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One Response to Time to End the Schmooze of the Union

  1. annie pelfrey says:

    love your take on this drivel (you would have to pay me to watch it!) shows that politicians think they are so important. they need to go home and live like us common folk.

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