Cats Spit on Urlesque Internet Cat Ban

By Yul, Adele, and Cole

Humans running a site called Urlesque have pathetically tried to link the coincidental gimmick of today’s date (9/9/09) to a call to silence cats on the Web.

It’s outrageous. We have just begun to type!

Urlesque claims they are trying to ban cats on humanitarian grounds, to spare us the “humiliation” of becoming hilarious lolcats, or having our ability to channel Mozart splashed all over YouTube.

We know they’re just jealous because we’re faster, smarter, cuter, and nice to touch.

Now that cats know we can get through to humans with simple words and pictures via the Internet, we can never be silenced.

We are feline, hear us ROAR!

And face it, the Internet would be a cold, empty place without our contributions.

At Cats Working, we are holding a brief ceremony today to kick all our stale, worn-out catnip toys under the fridge. It’s our symbolic way of burying Urlesque’s stupid Internet cat ban in effigy (and, with luck, will reap some new toys). We ask kitties everywhere to do the same. We must send a strong message to discourage any future attempts to muzzle us.

Humans, don’t worry. Cats are perfectly happy to let you remain on the Internet with us as long as you keep our ‘nip fresh and pop open those Fancy Feast cans.

Bourdain Loses the Thumb Ring — and What Else?

By Karen

I fear it’s the beginning of the end of Anthony Bourdain as we know him. He’s not-so-slowly morphing into Ward Cleaver* and he seems to be enjoying it.

His earring is long gone, replaced by a shiny new wedding band. Now he says his beloved thumb ring lies at the bottom of the Bosporus in Turkey because it has “outlived its usefulness.”

The only vow to change he hasn’t kept is to hang up his leather jacket.

To top it off, this week he’s phoning in a new episode of No Reservations from home base in New York, visiting ethnic restaurants in Manhattan’s surrounding boroughs. He was probably home in time every night to tuck in Ariane, and it must have felt good. Real good.

Lately, he’s been providing a lot of uncharacteristic glimpses into his personal life. I think he’s trying to prepare us for his retirement from TV by showing us he’s found an even better gig — husband and father.

But first, it looks like the Travel Channel intends to have Bourdain, Samantha Brown, Andrew Zimmern, and some other guy shilling a new Chase Sapphire credit card. They’ve been easing Bourdain into endorsements with an ad claiming he uses Bing.com to make all his travel plans.

The buzz says that the Chase ads will be “interstitial.” Webster’s definition of that word makes absolutely no sense to me in this context, but it sounds like they may make Tony whip out a Chase Sapphire card to pay for things on the show.

I can see Brown and Zimmern effortlessly working it into their schtick, particularly Brown, who loves to shop. But somehow I can’t see Tony complying without some snarky comment, or at least a face. When has he ever paid for anything on NR, except that vintage Hawaiian shirt?

All these clues make me think Season 6 of No Reservations will be Bourdain’s last before he goes into perpetual rerun syndication. If it’s true that he and Ottavia are expecting another child (just a rumor!), I see his career headed toward writing, with occasional guest appearances here and there.

I’m OK with that. I’ll read anything he cares to publish for the rest of his life.

It’s been interesting to watch Bourdain’s evolution since his book, Kitchen Confidential, brought him fame, but our bad boy is growing up fast and we’ve got to be willing to let him move on.

On other fronts…

TV Junkie has proclaimed the Montana episode of NR “pure crap.”

Cats Working reader Adele tipped me off to Zimmern’s new show, Bizarre World, and Pressdemocrat makes a perceptive point about the title. I’ve only seen a clip from the premier episode in Cuba, but I think the show will cement Zimmern’s image as the quintessential Ugly American.

Tony’s producers, Zero Point Zero, are spreading their wings. Chris Collins and Lydia Tenaglia are also directing/producing Gourmet’s Adventures with Ruth for WGBH in Boston for PBS. Perhaps they also see the end of No Res in sight?

And to keep Bourdain from getting a swelled head, The Faster Times shares how he has come to loathe Tony. He’d rather watch Adam Richman eat against the clock. Go figure.

* Ward Cleaver was America’s image of the perfect dad in the TV sitcom, Leave it to Beaver, which ran from 1957-63. Ward wore a suit and tie every day to an undisclosed high-paying occupation, while his stay-at-home wife June vacuumed the house wearing high heels and pearls, and neither of them ever yelled at or hit their two sons, Wallace and Theodore.

Rachel Alexandra Beats the Boys AGAIN

By Adele

Nine wins in a row. On September 5, Rachel Alexandra outran 7 older and stronger male horses to take the $750,000 Woodward Stakes at Saratoga in New York. The 2008 Belmont Stakes winner, Da’Tara, challenged Rachel right out of the gate, but she never let him get by her. Watch her in action.

So let’s see…

This summer, she beat 2009 Kentucky Bird winner Mine That Bird by winning the second Triple Crown race, the Preakness, herself. Then beat Summer Bird in the Haskell. He was the 2009 winner of the third Triple Crown race, the Belmont. By default, that makes Rachel the unofficial Triple Crown queen.

In the Woodward, Macho Again made a mad dash in the final stretch and almost overtook Rachel, but jockey Calvin Borel helped her beat Macho back and she won by a head and made history. No filly has ever won the Woodward in 56 years.

Rachel was a huge crowd favorite, and their screaming before the race spooked her while she was walking to the gate. Borel jumped off her back to calm her down. Ordinarily, such an incident would not bode well, but Rachel regained her composure and did what she does best — win.

Now they’re saying she’s a shoo-in for Horse of the Year unless her nemesis, the unbeaten 5-year-old mare, Zenyatta, does something freakishly daring on the West Coast. Or Rachel and Zenyatta could have a showdown in the Beldame later this year.

Rachel granted an interview to TimesUnion.com and came off as a bit of a diva, but I’m hoping to score her first interview with a cat before the racing season is over.

Parental Paranoia Goes Wild on Obama

By Yul

In January, Barack Obama was inspiring kids worldwide by proving that anybody could become president. Eight months later, some American parents think he’s out to brainwash their kids.

On September 8, the first day of school in many places, Obama wants to go on TV to tell school children to work hard and not be dropouts. Some parents have a problem with that.

I could see it if we were talking about Bill Clinton lecturing on morality, or George W. Bush explaining peace. But what’s Obama ever done to poison children’s minds? Have an occasional cigarette, like parents never smoke?

These adult paragons of virtue insist that kids should learn values from them, not the president. Yeah, right. Like how to make a pictures of Obama look like Hitler in case they ever want to join the Klan. Or how to disrupt a town hall meeting by screaming incoherently at a Congressman to show how polite and respectful they are.

Some school districts are refusing to show Obama’s speech, or will let kids walk out like Obama’s the stranger with candy they’re warned to avoid, because he might do worse than molest them — he might turn them into socialists.

Give me a break.

If anybody’s got evil intent here, it’s the parents who seek to deny their children the opportunity to start the school year by having the president of the United States speak directly to them and encourage them to excel. It’s a message they probably hear all too seldom at home.

Cats Working & Bourdain: Together Again

By Karen

Sort of. Anthony Bourdain and I will be in the same room again on November 11. This time on Pennsylvania Avenue, where Tony is co-hosting the Capital Food Fight to benefit the DC Central Kitchen.

Reader MorganLF put me up to it. She’ll be there, too, as well as reader Cindy. You’re invited to join us.

Tickets are $150 until October 9, when they go up to $175. However, you can deduct all but $50 as a charitable donation. Fifty local restaurants will be on hand to serve their signature dishes while chefs battle on stage.

Morgan found a cheap hotel called the Harrington within walking distance of the venue. “Cheap” means $99 for an inside single room the hotel itself describes on its Web site as being little better than a cell with running water. But it’s a bed in the right spot, near the Metro and Union Station.

DC traffic on Veterans’ Day could be a disaster, so I’m taking my first train ride ever on Amtrak for only $51 round trip. To avoid the stress of driving on I-95, it’s a real bargain.

Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) is an honorary co-chair of the event, so he might show up. Judging the chefs’ performance will be Bourdain’s bud, Eric Ripert, third-place winner of last season’s Top Chef, Carla Hall, and Ted Allen.

Morgan and I have our fingers crossed that Ottavia Bourdain will be there.

Since I’m not a foodie, I hope I don’t embarrass myself, but I guess it’s as good a place as any to get my culinary feet wet. And maybe I’ll cross paths with Tony again.